


Star Wars: The Shadows of Angels

by hollow_works



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Ben Solo Angst, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Force Bond (Star Wars), Not a Rat Trap, Padawan Ben Solo, Prince Ben Solo, Young Ben Solo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:20:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 29,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23865166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hollow_works/pseuds/hollow_works
Summary: Ben Solo was my best friend. My only friend. I would have done anything for him, and I did. You know what they say: behind every great man is a great woman. Too bad it took on a dark and terrible new meaning.Read Ayala Samsobal's recollection of her time with her childhood friend, Ben Solo, and his rise to power from her point of view.
Relationships: Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	1. The First Padawan

STAR WARS

15 years since the fall of The Empire, and the restored galactic republic reigns in relative peace over the galaxy. Princess Leia Organa, General Han Solo, and Master Jedi Luke Skywalker meet on planet Chandrila, the New Republic's capital, to usher in the new age of the Jedi! New, prospective padawan learners are coming forth from all over the galaxy, begging to be taught by the legendary Master Skywalker! A Jedi Temple is erected on the edge of the galaxy, and an unexpected turn of events causes shadows to stretch across the heart of the bright future of the New Republic.

Leia's ship emerged from hyperspace and entered Chandrila's orbit.  
I saw her flip the com link open and unmute the line.

"Chandrilian Space Traffic Control, this is Princess Leia Organa, Captain of CR-Niner-Zero Corvette: Tantive V, with request to enter atmosphere." 

The com chirped and a women's voice clipped through the cockpit.

"Your authentication code, please."

"Transmitting code now." She replied as she shoved her code chip into the reader.

There was a long silence as the transmission went through. Soon enough though the com link twittered back to life with the confirmation and permission to land. Leia sighed.

"You know kiddo," I suppressed a cringe. I hated being called kiddo. I was 8 cycles old after all. "It has been years since the Empire fell, but I still get nervous when I have to land. Like the Empire made a comeback while I was in space or something. Weird, right?"

I shook my head.

"Not weird at all, Your Highness. You had to deal with the Empire all your life. A lot of anxiety associated with landing, especially when you were a rebel." 

She smiled and chuckled.

"You are too smart for your own good, young lady." 

I grinned and stuck out my tongue. She scrunched up her nose and growled back. We laughed and she went back to pressing buttons and flipping switches.

We touched down on her private landing pad on her tower, and our service droids unloaded our luggage on to a bell hop droid. It was warm that afternoon, and I groaned as I wished to be back on Bespin in Cloud City where everything was beautiful, everything was inside, and every where in the city was the perfect temperature. The droid followed us to the tower and into the elevator to our suites where we finally entered the cool apartments with laughter, like we got away with something we weren't supposed to do. 

"You two womp rats find what you were looking for?" A boy's voice called out. 

Ben stood in the foyer glaring at us with a toy blaster in his hand. 

"We did!" I grabbed my trunk from the bellhop and let it clatter to the floor. I whipped the lid open and dug the garment bag from it's depths.

"Princess Leia got me my own princess dress for the party!" I exclaimed brandishing the bag.

"You don't have to call her Princess Leia all the time." Ben groaned. "She's just my mom."

"Don't be a spoilsport, Ben." Leia sighed. "She's just excited."

"Can I put it on again, princess? Please?"

"If you're careful! The party is tomorrow, and we don't have time to go back to Bespin to have Madame Eela make you another one." 

"I'll be careful! Promise!" I swore as I crossed my heart. She smirked and looked down at me with mock suspicion.

"Alright, I believe you." She conceded.

"Whoo-hoo!" I skipped off to my room to put the dress on and came back out with a flourish. The princess had Ben try on his suit while I was gone, and she was fussing with his collar as I pranced into the living room to show off. Ben's eyes widened as I came into view. I stopped in my tracks, unsure of what his gaze meant. 

"Wow." He said under his breath. The princess stopped, looked at him then back at me and grinned. Ben snapped out of whatever came over him and-

"Wow, what a nerd!" 

"Hey! I'm pretty!" I huffed. 

"Ye-e-eah, sure." He grumbled and rolled his eyes. Leia smiled knowingly and stood up, finally done with Ben's collar. 

"You're not pretty, Ayala. You're beautiful." She said playfully. 

"H-e-e-ey! How do I look!?" He asked his mother indignantly. 

"You look handsome!" I blurted out. To my horror, it came out more enthusiastic than I meant it to. I clapped my hands over my mouth, and he blushed. Leia laughed as she walked to a desk and fished out a holomaker. 

"I have to get a picture of you two. You kids are so cute! Ben, you're such a little man! You remind me so much of your father." She mused. That made Ben smile impishly. She pointed the maker at us, and Ben tried to sheild his face from view. Leia was faster though, and it clicked before he could hide. The princess shrugged. "I guess that'll do." I ran to her to see the results as she loaded the chip into the holodeck on her desk. Ben followed with less enthusiasm. 

There I was. It was the first time I had ever seen myself in a hologram. As it spun around I smiled in awe. My dress was my favorite shade of red and fluffed out into a bell shape with long bishop's sleeves that ended in cuffs with black jet buttons, and a high black lace collar. I grinned at how pretty I felt looking at myself. It reminded me of all the holofilms my mother kept of her modeling days. But there was Ben, ruining the scene with his brooding glare, he still looked handsome in his high collared, black suit and long black hair that contrasted his pale face. I blushed. Leia smiled and bent down to my ear.

"He sure cleans up well, doesn't he?" I nodded as I stared at the hologram.

"Don't let him fool you, he's a total nerfherder, just like his father." I giggled and Ben shoved her teasingly.

"M-o-o-o-m! No one says nerfherder anymore."

"Well that's funny, because you just said it." She retorted. 

Ben groaned and rolled his eyes. As he turned to walk away, he caught me as I stole a glance at him. He looked back at me like I was developing a horn on my face. Thankfully, the embarrassing moment ended as my mother entered. 

"Mom!!!" I yelled as she unloaded from the elevator and hugged me when I collided with her. I wrapped my arms around her waist and she squeezed me tighter. She knelt down and held me out at arms length. 

"Wow, Leia. You really shouldn't have. It's gorgeous."

"It's nothing! Really."

"No seriously, I'm going to pay you back. I pr-"

Leia heal up her hands. "You'll do no such thing." Mom stood up and looked back at me with tears in her eyes.

"You've saved my hide so many times that I am in debt to YOU. Not the other way around. I have every right to spoil you and Ayala, and I will!" Leia justified.

"Leia." Mom sighed and collapsed into Leia's arms, grateful for her friend's generosity. 

Mom was stressed. All she wanted was independence, and she had it for a while. Her mother was what people called an angel, a Diathim from the planet Iego who fell in love with a human man. The children of these pairs have the looks of their angelic parents, but we're born without the wings and glowing skin. Mom banked on her looks and became a model for luxury fashion houses all over the galaxy when she was younger. Then she made her debut in holodramas and was even the lead soprano in opera productions. She was so famous, but the galactic economy crashed with the threat of the New Separatist Union, and she lost everything. The cost of living went up and the entertainment industry shut down. Mom got pregnant with me shortly after that, and my father didn't want to get involved, leaving the planet altogether. No one helped us until Leia saw the dilapidated apartment we lived in near The Works back on Coruscant. She spirited us away from that place and took us to her home on Chandrila that night. Leia made my mom her decoy, and mom earned good money for her service. I got to have my own room with a bed, not just a thin pad on the floor of an apartment that was so small, the bathroom was a shower with a toilet right next to the stove.I slept in front of that stove. Mom slept in front of the door incase anyone tried to break in. I did NOT miss that place. Neither did Mom, but even though she was being paid, she still felt like a charity case.

"Don't thank me yet!" Leia pulled away gently and got another garment bag from her trunk and held it out to my mom. "This is going to be a knockout on you. Let's go put it on." 

I smiled as they both dissapeared into Leia's rooms with their gowns for the party. Ben broke the silence with a blaster noise from his toy gun. I jumped and turned around. 

"How dare you fire on the Princess of Bespin!?" I exclaimed. "My troops have surrounded your invaders and are disabling your cannons and sheilds as we speak!" 

"You'll never defeat the power of the Empire!" Ben hissed as he aimed his blaster at me again. I ran to my room and got my toy lightsaber I made from old metal pipes and a wooden broom stick I painted purple. Ben and I met back in the foyer both armed with our toy lightsabers. His actually lit up blue and had sound effects just like the real thing. He grinned and we began our duel. A few moves in, Ben started his signature taunts.

"What's the matter princess? Is fighting in a dress too much for you?"

"You wish!" I dodged a strike and moved closer to hit his open side with a quick jab. He growled and knocked my blade to the side with a swing. "First strike! And I'm wearing a dress." I boasted. 

He tried to do the same move, but as he dodged, I recovered, knocked his blade away, and spun to force it back up and away from my side. I grinned and batted my eye lashes at him. 

"I'm even wearing heels." 

I pushed him away, and he charged me, but I stepped back smoothly at the last minute and struck him across the back with a loud slap. I instantly regretted it. I knew I hurt him.

"Aggghhh!" He snarled and spun back around with rage in his eyes that made my heart drop.

"Ben! I-I'm so sorry! I swear I didn't mean it!" I stepped back and fell to the floor and he rose his saber above his head to hit me. I winced and put my hand up to block the blow. He swung hard. I could even hear the toy blade whistle as it sliced through the air, but the strike never landed.

"Ayala!" I heard Leia say breathlessly and I snapped my eyes open. Above me Ben stood frozen in mid strike and struggled to move. I exhaled a breath I didn't know I was holding, and Ben fell on me with a yelp. With a huff he rolled off of me and sat up. We locked eyes, both of us in shock over what had just happened. "Ben, I'm so sorry." I finally mustered out. He sneered, his eyes red with angry tears. Just then the elevator opened, and we whipped our heads around to see a man in Jedi robes step into the foyer. 

"Luke!" Leia exclaimed but didn't move to greet him.

Master Luke glared at us, stepped forward, and knelt down to look me in the eyes. 'Did he think he could beat a Princess in a dress?' My eyes went wide as I realized he was using the force to speak to me telepathically. I slowly nodded. 'I remember trying that same thing, but that princess over there whooped my hide so many times that I can't sit in the cockpit too long before my butt gets sore.' I laughed at that and he smiled. Ben stood up with a huff, stomped his foot and brought me back to reality. 

"I can't believe she's got force abilities and I don't!" He yelled and pointed at me. I looked at the floor suddenly aware of what happened. I had force-froze Ben Solo, galactic royalty, and a Skywalker, and I had showed force abilities before he did. Ben turned on his heel and stomped to his room. 

"What's your name, kid?" Master Luke asked as he stood and helped me up.

"Ayala. Ayala Samsobal." 

"Samsobal? Are you Rakhol Samsobal?" He asked pointing at my mom. She nodded and smiled. "Wow! Hey, see? I knew you were a princess!" He laughed. "Your mom played the best Queen in the "Fall of Naboo" I have ever seen!" 

Mom blushed. "Oh, now. I was okay." 

"What do you mean!? You were fantastic! 'And the planet is my tomb. My respite from the storm. As so many that have gone before me, I am not alone, but at peace on this empty stone.' It's classic!" Everyone laughed at Luke's enthusiasm but I was lost. I think he could sense my unease and looked back down at me. 

"And you, kid. How does it feel to be the first padawan since the battle of Yavin?" 

"What?" My mom and I both stammered.

"I mean, you're obviously force sensitive. And you're here the day before the padawan induction ceremony. Why else would you be here?" The Jedi looked from me to Leia, my mom and finally back to me.

I shuffled my feet and looked around the apartment suddenly feeling out of place. "I live here, Master Luke." I muttered. 

"You do? I see." He started. "I'm guessing you just found out you're force sensitive, eh?"

I nodded. "I froze Ben before he could hit me." I said quietly. I felt like I was in trouble. I knew Mom was going to be upset. She couldn't afford to send me to training, and she probably wouldn't want to send me away as her only daughter. 


	2. Onward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Excitement brews in the halls of the New Republic!

"I can't afford to send her Master Luke. I'm so glad she has this gift but I can't. I can't let her go. She's my only child." 

I shook my head. I didn't think she'd agree to me going, but I had hoped she'd at least think about it. I shuffled to the settee and sat down with a huff. I looked up at the princess and she smiled weakly. 

"But I want to go." I said under my breath. 

Mom rushed to me and grasped my hands as she knelt down. "Honey, you know you I would love to give you everything you want in the galaxy, but this is just too much." She looked up apologetically at Master Luke. "I'm sorry Master Jedi, I just can't do it." Luke nodded and smiled sadly at me. 

"Well, kid. Whenever you can, whenever you're ready, I will gladly train you in the ways of the force. I promise you."

I couldn't help my tears. For a nanosecond, I thought I could be a Jedi Knight. Mom wiped my tears away and looked on me with her own sad eyes. 'It sucks being poor.' I thought. 'Don't worry, bud. I think I have an idea." Master Luke said in my head. 

Later that night, as I dreamed, I was dueling other Jedi as a Jedi Knight. My heart leapt with pride and confidence. I had a real saber, I looked powerful and sure. But there, on the edges of my dreams, I felt a darkness. I kept dueling, but the feeling kept getting stronger and stronger, until something grabbed me from behind and flung me to the ground with a howling rage I had never heard before. The shadow figure's face craned down, and it's breath pushed my hair back. I couldn't see it's eyes, but I could feel it staring into my soul. Then suddenly, I felt my heart race as dread filled me. The shadow grew and grew until it filled my vision and it screamed. The adrenaline woke me. I laid there, gasping for air. I didn't know my heart could beat so fast. I worked to bring it back to a normal rhythm. It was working until a tap on my door stirred me from my post dream panic. I quickly came back to reality and sat up. Again a soft tap-tap-tap on my door sounded, and I threw back my blankets. I got out of bed to open the door, hoping it wasn't the monster from my nightmare. But as the door slid to the side with a whisper it was Ben that stood there looking guilty. 

"I'm sorry, Ayala." 

"Ben, why are you up so late?" I hissed with concern. I pulled him into my room and punched the close/lock button on the door. We collapsed on the rug, and he grabbed my hands, pulled me to him and locked his wide imploring eyes with mine.

"Ayala, I'm so sorry for making you so scared that it woke up your force powers." He said with quiet urgency. 

"Ben, I'M sorry!" My whisper came out sharp. "I didn't mean to... to, I don't know- but I feel bad! You should have shown force sensitivity first. And I'm sorry I hit you so hard." Ben shook his head and grabbed my shoulders with both hands. 

"Ay'la, you deserve it. And don't worry about me. I'm a big kid." He said as his toothy, crooked smile spread sheepishly across his face.

He sighed and looked away in shame. He whipped his face back up to me and started again. "I've been such a jerk today. I've been so stupid and selfish. I know what you've gone through, but... I don't know. Sometimes I get jealous. I said I didn't want to go to Bespin with you but I lied. I just felt like mom liked you better." He pulled me to him and wrapped me up in a hug. 

"Ben!" I gasped. "You know that's not true! And I told you! I'm so sorry!" I replied with tears in my eyes at his confession. "You're my best friend, Ben!" I hugged him so tight that my fingernails grated on his night shirt. 

"You're mine too!" He sobbed quietly. I let him cry on my shoulder for a few moments, until he pulled away. "I know you're going to be a great Jedi someday." 

"Yeah, right." I said sarcastically. 

He smiled and sat back, his eyes still shined with tears. He wiped his nose on the back of his sleeve and lit up again.

"I did it though!" He exclaimed. "I can use the force too!" He fished around in his pocket, took out a small toy spaceship and let it settle in the palm of his hand. He closed his eyes and seemed to focus on his breathing. It became faster but steady. Slowly, the ship began to rise up from his palm. Higher and higher until it floated directly between us. He snapped his eyes open, and we both broke out with a grin. 

"That's great! I'm so happy! We get to-" I stopped and felt my disappointment flood through me. I wouldn't be able to go to Jedi training. 

"Oh, man. I'm sorry, A'. I-I forgot." He said. The wind deflated from his sails as fast as mine.

"It's okay. I probably wouldn't be any good anyway." 

"You'd be amazing. It's not fair."

"It's okay! I swear." I got up and pulled him up with me. "Now go! You're gonna be so grumpy tomorrow if you don't get some rest." 

"Jeez! Okay, mom!" He groaned. 

I pushed him out of the room, and just as I was about to close the door we both froze. Hushed voices drifted from the living room. Ben and I looked at each other and nodded. As quietly as we could, we tiptoed into the hallway to eves drop.

"Master Luke, I already owe Leia so much. I could never pay you back." I heard my mother say.

"I wouldn't charge Leia! And Leia already said you're like family- a sister! I wouldn't charge my family." He reasoned. 

Ben and I looked at each other with wide eyes. 

"Besides, Rakhol. I already told you. You owe me nothing. I owe you!" Leia reiterated. 

Ben and I silently celebrated and snuck back to my room. I shut the door and we grabbed each other's shoulders as we jumped up and down with muted glee.

"You're going to get to go to Jedi school!" Ben whispered excitedly.

I gasped. "Ben, you have to show your mom!"

"I know! Should I do it now?" 

"I don't know! They might figure out we heard them! But this is important!"

"Just stay here! I'll go out there and show mom. They won't know I showed you and I'll come back afterwards and tell you how it goes! Okay?" 

"Okay, but be careful!" I urged.

"I'll be fine! Wish me luck!" 

"I thought you said you'd be fine." I teased. He gave me an annoyed look and I giggled. "Good luck, Ben." That earned me his smile, and I opened the door and closed it after him. And I waited. A few minutes later a quiet tap on the door alerted me of Ben's return. I opened the door and pulled him inside. 

"How'd it go?" I whispered hurriedly. 

"Mom already knew." He sighed. 

"What?!" I hissed.

"Yeah, apparently she could sense it a long time ago." He said halfheartedly. 

"But this is great! She's gonna let you go right?" 

"I asked that too, but Mom said she has to wait for Dad to get back from his trip."

I nodded dejectedly. 

"I'm sure I'll get to go though. I'm the last Jedi's nephew!" He said as he sat on the end of my bed. 

"Ben, what are you doing?" I whispered. 

"I don't want to sleep alone tonight, and I don't want my mom to think I'm not grownup enough to sleep by myself. She might think I'm too young to go to Jedi training." His brows furrowed and his lips drew a worried line across his face. "I had a nightmare earlier." I wanted to tell him about my own nightmare, but he looked more disturbed about his than I was about mine. Ben pleaded with his eyes, begging for me to let him stay. I conceded and walked over to the bed and climbed in. 

"Sorry, Ay'la." He whispered when we finally settled in.

"Stop saying sorry, Ben!" I hissed. 

"You know what I mean. Thank you for letting me stay." He paused and yawned. "Good night, A." He whispered and wrapped his arm around my shoulders to cuddle me close. I smiled and scooted back to his chest.

"Good night, B." I whispered back and quickly drifted off to sleep. 

◇◇◇

When I awoke, Ben was gone. Sun rays glowed around the edges of my curtains, so I pushed a button on my nightstand and closed the shutters, giving me complete, cool darkness. I didn't want to get up until noon with how exhausted I was so I let myself drift back to sleep, but that was quickly ended when my door slid open. 

"Wake up my little angel." My mother cooed. I grumbled and rolled over in protest. 

"Nooo!" I said into my blanket.

"Come on, you have to eat and Leia wants to do your hair!" I sat up stock straight and grinned.

"I almost forgot about that!" 

◇◇◇

We stepped out of our transport, and we were ushered into the the Galactic Senate building. Ben and I were buzzing with excitment, but Mom and Leia looked anxious. Looking back now, I realize they were nervous as they braced themselves for the borage of the crowd. The place was filled to the brim with every being you could imagine. Eyes followed us as we walked through the crowd. Some smiled, some bowed, others looked down their noses, and others looked downright hateful. Still, people stopped and talked to my mother and Leia, happy to see the both of them. Some took the liberty and introduced themselves, or introduced their friends or partners. Everyone fawned over Prince Ben Solo-Organa. Ben took it well, but I could tell he didn't like the attention. Some noticed me and complimented me on my dress, how pretty I was, or how much I looked like my mother. I think Ben could tell I wasn't enjoying the attention either. He looked at me and gave me a crooked, understanding smile. Just then, a group of children ran through the crowd, laughing and horsing around in their expensive finery. Ben's grin twisted wickedly. He took my hand, and dragged me through the crowd. His and my mom called after us, but we were too fast and just small enough to dodge through the crowd. Soon, we were tailing the other kids. They stopped and wheeled around to face us.

"Who are you?" A girl with white hair and dark skin sneered at Ben. The others gathered around beside her, surrounding us with narrow, suspicious glares.

"I'm Prince Ben Solo-Organa. My mom's Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan. My Dad's General Han Solo, Rebellion hero. Made the Kessel run in 12 parsecs." He replied coolly, imitating his dad's cocked eyebrow. "This is my friend, Ayala Samsobal. Her mom is Rakhol Samsobal, a famous model and actress."

"Never heard of her." Her eyes cut down at me as she sized me up. "And honestly, we don't care who you and your little girlfriend are, because we're going to be Jedi." She declared. 

"I'm not his girlfriend." I said indignantly and yanked my hand from Ben's clammy palm. "And I'm the first padawan since before the the battle of Yavin. Master Luke Skywalker said so himself!" 

"Yep!" Ben confirmed. "She's wizard at the lightsaber too!" 

"And? How old is she? Like five cycles?" She laughed and the others joined in.

"I'M EIGHT!" I declared and squared up to the older girl. Ben pulled me back with a hand on my shoulder.

"Don't let her get to you, A. She's just jealous." 

"I'm not jealous, I'm a realist." She stuck her nose up and shrugged.

Ben sneered and stepped between me and her. "You're not a realist. You're just a real as-"

"Ben!" The sound of his Dad's voice called over the crowd. The other kids saw Han, and their eyes went wide with amazement, then quickly as they could, scattered. 

"Dad!" Ben shouted and took off for him. Han grabbed him up and spun him around. I followed to greet him too, happy to see the only father figure I'd ever known.

"Hey kiddo! I heard from your mother that we're going to have another Jedi in the family!" He said to Ben.

"Yep! Ay'la is gonna be one too!!!" He exclaimed.

"Ay'la? Ay'la! Where'd she go?" Han looked around with mock concern. "I don't see her!"

"Mr. Solo! I'm right here!" I tugged on his vest to get him to look down. 

"What's that? There's a disturbance in the force of some kind!" 

"Mr. SO-LO!" I laughed.

"It must be... an AYALA!" He put Ben down and knelt down to give me a hug. "Hey that's a pretty fancy get-up ya got there! I like it!"

"Thank you, Mr. Solo. Princess Leia got it for me! We went to Sky City on Bespin!"

"She thinks she's the princess of Bespin now." Ben teased. 

"Well, if Bespin had a princess it would be you." Han replied. 

"There you guys are!" Cried Leia. "We gotta go! I have to be up at the dias soon! C'mon!" She grabbed Ben's hand, and my mom grabbed mine.

Master Luke stood near the Senate Hall door with a pensive smile. 

"Hey, kids. You guys ready?"

Ben and I stole a nervous glance at each other. "Ready for what, Uncle Luke?" Ben asked.

"I'm introducing my first two padawan learners to the Senate, of course." 

◇◇◇

"Welcome, Honorable Senators." Chancellor Mon Mothma's voice echoed through the crowd. "I call this meeting of the Galactic Senate to announce a new force for good in the galaxy. A step towards a new generation of peace and hope. One we very nearly lost. As your Chancellor, I have vowed to make right the wrongs of the Empire. To shine a light on the shadows it cast. Ultimately, to restore the way of life they took from us so brutally. Tonight, we see a final nail in the coffin of the Empire. Tonight, we see the return of the Jedi Order!" 

Master Luke, Ben, and I were brought up on our own platform to the Senate floor, and the crowd roared. Ben and I stared in awe at the vast amount of beings that surrounded us as they cheered from above and below. Luke stepped forward on the platform, and the crowd hushed. 

"For those of you Honored Senators who don't know me: I am Master Jedi Luke Skywalker. And to those who do, I am proud to call you my brothers and sisters in arms, for together we fought and vanquished the swallowing void of the darkside. As the shadows of the Empire recede, we face a new dawn. I believe that with a new Jedi Order, we can show the lingering shadows of the Empire that they will never rise again." The gallery applauded at that. "As you know," He spoke above the din and the floor was his once more. "There are threats to any democracy that dares to strike down evil. Even now The Separatists and Confederates would love nothing but to blight the galaxy with their corruption. But with this new Jedi Order, we can call back the power of the force and move onward to a stronger Republic!" More applause and I had begun to get a headache from the noise. Master Luke looked down at me and I heard his voice in my head. 'Alright kid, here's your claim to fame.' 

"Tonight, I present to you Padawan learner Ayala Samsobal, the first padawan since the Battle of Yavin. And Padawan learner Prince Ben Solo-Organa." He spoke with such gravity, but Ben had to stifle a laugh when Master Luke called him a prince. I tried to be serious, but I couldn't help but smile at the affirmation. I was going to be a Jedi! 

◇◇◇

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally got the guts to post Chapter 2! One hit is promising! Thank you for the kudos as well! Please, enjoy this next chapter! Looks like this one turned out to be longer than I expected, lol. I'll start posting more religiously and hopefully gain some traction!


	3. Farewell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leaving home is hard to do.

Chapter 3: Farewell

"I'll visit?" Mom cried and looked from me to Master Luke. He shook his head and frowned. Mom looked back to me with ill masked disappointment, her lip drew into a sad, sloped line. "Well, you just come home if you ever want to okay?" She whimpered and wiped a tear away from my cheek. Leia and Han made their goodbyes to Ben as well. Leia cried quietly as she held her son, and Han tried to console her and Ben as he held back his own tears. 

"I love you, Mommy." I said. I tried hard to keep my lip from trembling, but a fresh wave of tears welled up and spill over. Mom sighed and gathered me into a crushing hug. I let her. I wanted to remember that hug for a long time. I wanted to remember her perfume and the sound of her heartbeat. I wanted to remember how her hands crushed into my hair. I wanted to remember how her arms squeezed me so tight, and how that one act made me feel like nothing could ever hurt me. It all would have to hold me over until I finally finished my training. 

She let me go at last and tried to give me her best smile. She was so beautiful, more beautiful than I ever remembered in that moment, and even though I was sad, her smile made me feel like everything would be okay. 

"Don't cry, my angel. I'll see you real soon. Cross my heart." She said and crossed her chest with her finger. I nodded. I couldn't speak without crying, so I crossed mine too. I had already said what I wanted to say, but Mom looked like she was holding back something. She smiled weakly and stood up. 

"I don't know what I'll do without you, but I know you'll do great things, Ayala. Make me proud, but most of all, make yourself proud." She said tenderly. 

I nodded again and stared down at the tarmac. If I looked at her any more, I would lose my resolve. After Master Luke taught Ben and I the Jedi Code, I knew I had to let go of my emotions. 

I looked back at Master Luke. His face was neutral and unreadable, but I could tell he felt the sadness we all did in some empathic way. I nodded and so did he. I let go of my mother and walked to stand next to him. Ben came after and we grabbed each other's hands. As we stepped onto the ramp Ben took a final look back, but I knew if I did, I wouldn't have the strength to leave. 

◇◇◇

There was no doubt that the planet we made way to was remote. Master Luke said it had to be secure enough to keep us safe from anyone who would want to destroy our new order. We didn't even know the name of the planet or the location as we hurdled through the galaxy. 

I looked over at Ben as he slept and wondered what he might be dreaming about. I realized quickly, he wasn't dreaming but having a nightmare instead. His brows furrowed and his eyes darted rapidly behind their lids, his breath came in shallow gasps. Suddenly, his head jerked in my direction and his eyes opened wide with panic. Instinctively, I jumped up and went to his side.

"Ben! Are you okay? You were having a nightmare!" 

Ben gasped for air and grabbed my shoulders. 

"Ben, you're shaking!" 

"It was awful." He whispered in terror.

"What happened?" I whispered back, but he just shook his head. "Ben? You should talk about it. Let it out." 

"S-Something was chasing me. You were there too. You were running so far ahead of me, but somehow it caught you. I-It swallowed you up. And when it turned around to look at me, it had glowing, yellow eyes! It said my name." He panted.

"It's okay! I'm here!" I reassured him. 

"Don't leave me, A." He sobbed quietly. 

"Ben, what's this about?" I asked as I pulled away from him. I had to see what he was feeling. His face was pale and clammy, and his eyes were raw and red from his crying, and he hemmed his lips. He looked me in the eyes with desperation a boy of 10 cycles shouldn't have.

"Everyone leaves me. My mom, my dad. Uncle Chewie! They're all so busy with their own lives and... You're all I have now." Ben cried.

"Ben, you know I won't go anywhere! I'll always be here." I smiled and rubbed his shoulder, suddenly feeling awkward and ill prepared to handle his emotions. "Besides, I don't know how to fly a star hopper yet." Ben laughed though his tears and sniffed. His eyes looked back up and into mine, still shining with sadness.

"Thank you, A." 

"Any time, B." 

We touched down some time after on a large, swath of grass on the edge of a vast jungle. Tiny, strange looking birds and other animals scattered in our wake. The other padawans ooh'ed and ahh'ed at the sight. Master Skywalker shut down the ship with a huff and stood up. He paused in the cockpit and looked around at us with a tight smile. 

"Alright everyone, this is a huge moment for us. This place is the home world of the Jedi faith. The point of origin. Here, I hope, will bring us closer to the light in our hearts and closer to the force. Out there, the galaxy is distracting and corrupt. But here, where it all began, we can begin." With that he made his way back to the ship's exit and lowered the ramp. Without looking back he stepped off the ship. The other padawans looked around perplexed, but Ben and I turned to each other and grinned before we stood and ran down the ramp just in time to see Master Luke raise his hands as he brought forth a massive pile of rocks out of the mud and grass a few hundred feet away. As it drifted toward us, it began to rearrange, and the pile turned into walls and clearly formed doorways. It settled gently down on to a plot, and more stones erupted from the ground and piled on top of that to form a roof. All of us clapped and cheered as Master Luke showed us the potential of what we might be able to do one day. I know I felt hope that I could have been that skilled. Ben and I grinned at each other triumphantly. We made it, and together, we could become great and powerful Jedi. 

◇◇◇

The next few weeks and months were tough with little in the learning of the force, yet much in learning of water harvesting, planting food, and fishing. We were, after all, on a barely inhabited planet. All of us were instructed to use the labor as an opportunity to meditate and focus on achieving our goals with our bare hands, so that we might better appreciate the force. We sometimes chanted the Jedi Code as we ploughed our small garden field and planted seeds. Slowly our diets became more diverse as our plants grew and made fruits and vegetables. Most of us grew sick to our stomachs from all the fish we ate night after night. One night in particular however, we had finally managed to get a few of the strange birds that inhabited the beach trapped, and we roasted them over a great fire. It smelled amazing, much to our surprise, so we scattered to gather fruit and vegetables for an impromptu feast.

A couple of the older and stronger boys pulled out a few tables and benches. The rest of us roasted vegetables and made salads or chopped fruit. Master Luke showed a few students how to carve the birds, and as we all sat down to our meals, I smiled. That was the second time in my life that I felt that I had a family. 

"Are you okay, A?" Ben asked. "You look like you're going to cry." 

"I'm fine." I replied. "I'm just happy."

Ben gave me an understanding smile and squeezed my hand.

"Alright everyone! Let's eat!" Master Luke declared. We all picked up our pieces of the bird, took a bite, and spat it out with a unified groan. It tasted like liver!

◇◇◇

"All that work for nothing!" Ben sighed.

"Well, we'll have to get used to it. I'll turn into a fish if I have to eat any more." Voe retorted. "I think my hair is turning pink."

"I'm sure your hair is fine, Voe." Said Tai. "And I know hair." 

We all laughed and Voe rolled her eyes.

"You only know so much because you so desperately want hair. Your head must be freezing!" She retorted. 

"Leave him alone, Voe." Another padawan warned.

"What? I'm was just going to ask if he wanted to borrow a hat." She said with mock innocence. 

I shook my head and slipped into my cot and under the covers. Ben caught my eye and smiled a silent goodnight from across the room. I smiled back and snuggled into my pillow. Master Luke strode into the room and smiled around at us.

"Well, I think we all learned an important lesson today. The truth is, we can do everything right, work together, think we solved a problem only to have it back fire on us. The key is to brush it off, keep trying. Something will show it's self to be the better answer. We try, we fail, and keep trying and failing until we succeed. Tomorrow is another day. Let's get some rest and see what it brings. May the Force be with you all."

"And may the Force be with you as well, Master Luke!" We replied in unison. Master Luke dimmed the lamps in the room with a wave of his hand and added more wood to the fire in the fireplace. Everyone settled in and there was quiet save for the soft pelting of rain on the stone rooftop, and for the first time in months I didn't dream about home when I fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's it for chapter 3! I know a lot of us can relate to leaving our homes to move to a different place, but to be in Ayala and Ben's universe and having to leave that young and give up all of your family ties to be a Jedi is scary. I tend to think about how young many padawans had to be before Order 66 ended the Jedi Order. What a commitment those little ones had to make to pursue the Jedi way of life. How many didn't get the choice and were given to the order without their consent? ...Something to think about.


	4. A New Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Goodness, I had to rewrite this whole chapter about 3 times! Glad I got over my writer's block and finished it, but wow. Anywho, enjoy! Like and comment if you don't mind!

"Wake up, Ayala." A voice whispered. "Wake up!"

Ben's voice dragged me from my dream of roasted duck, vegetables, and cold fruit juice. 

"Ben, wha-" Ben clapped his hand over my mouth and put a finger up to his lips for quiet.

"Don't say anything, just come with me!" He whispered so quietly, I almost didn't hear him. I nodded, eyes wide. I shoved my blankets back and followed him across the cold, stone floor and out into the common room. Ben looked around before he pushed the wooden door open. We stepped out and he closed it behind us as carefully as he could manage and tip toed for as long as we could until we were out of earshot.We circled the grassy field that curved behind the stone temple, approached a rocky hill, and made our way up a sandy path that cut through the stone. Soon we reached a cliff that looked over the sea. It jutted out and gave us a a better view of the island coast. Giant stone structures loomed in the distance against the starry sky. The trees tried to be as tall as them but there was no contest.

Suddenly, the wind picked up and whipped my hair into my eyes and face and back out again. Ben was knocked over by a gust and I grabbed him before he could fall completely. He looked flustered yet determined.

"C'mon!" He yelled over the roar of the wind and crashing waves on the cliff face and we kept going up the path. Soon we rounded a corner and I saw a flight of stairs carved from stone. Ben whipped around and grinned at me. 

"This way!" He said and took my hand. He dragged me up the ancient steps until we reached a landing of stone blocks. Clouds parted and the moon illuminated a tiny village of egg shaped stone huts with little oil lamps glowing from inside. 

Suddenly, dread filled the pit of my stomach and I grabbed Ben's wrist with my free hand and dug my heels into the stone landing. He whipped back around and grabbed my hand, concern and panic washed over his features. 

"What's the matter?" He whispered. 

"We shouldn't be here! We don't know who or what is in there!" I hissed back. 

"Oh, jeez! I thought you were actually hurt or something." He sighed and grabbed his chest in relief. "Don't worry! I made friends with them! They have real food and they're really peaceful!" He said. "I know you're hungry." I gave him a reproachful look and he laughed. "I heard you talking in your sleep about roast duck." 

"THEM?! How do you know about this place?" I asked, still suspicious of the whole situation. 

"I have my ways." He said slyly. 

"BEN!" I hissed in demand of a real answer. 

"I get restless and wander around after everyone goes to sleep! I found it last night." I scowled at him again. "I wanted to show you first!" I narrowed my eyes and smiled, finally satisfied with his explanation. 

He pulled me across the landing and knocked on a metal door. It scrapped and creaked open. A short woman opened the door and looked around. She pulled us inside and quickly shut the door. 

"Thank you for letting us in." Ben huffed. "This is my friend Ayala. She's a padawan too."

The woman sized me up and stepped back. She gazed at me with expressionless eyes, but I could feel her apprehension. She said something to Ben but I couldn't understand her language. Ben turned to me slowly, a puzzled look danced across his face. 

"She says there's something weird about you." He translated. I blinked and looked at my hands.

"I don't feel weird. Maybe a bit hungry and confused, but-" I shrugged. "I swear I don't bite." I said and looked down at my feet, suddenly aware of how heavy they felt. I shivered and looked up at the woman, feeling more angry than I should have been. Slowly, the woman turned around and put a kettle on the stove and took a pot down from the hook it hung from the wall on and slowly began making food. Ben wheeled around to look at me with amazement. 

"How did you do that?" He asked his brows furrowed.

"Do what?" I shrugged. Ben stalked over to me and grabbed me by my shoulders and peered into my eyes. His searched mine with glittering curiosity. 

"Maybe there IS something weird about you?" He muttered, suspicion layered heavily on his words. 

A plate clattered on a small table and we jumped. The woman ladled out stew into bowls and plopped large spoons made of some sort of tree nut shells into each dish. She motioned us to sit and eat. We both wasted no time in taking our seats and scarfing down the steaming stew. It was made of fish unfortunately, but it had spices and vegetables that made it savory and delicious. As I ate it I began to feel warm and relaxed for the first time in six months. 

Something must have thawed in me, because my lips began to tremble and I felt that familiar stone of humbleness settle in my chest. Soon tears welled up in my eyes and I sniffed them back as best as I could. Ben looked up at me and he reached across the table for my hand. I dropped my spoon into my dish and grabbed his and squeezed it tightly. The woman laid a hand on my shoulder and patted me awkwardly. I smiled up at her and she bowed a little. 

She scurried back to the stove and poured some hot, brown liquid into three mugs on the plate and placed a mug before Ben and I, and she sat on her cot and sipped from her mug. Ben and I looked at each other and sipped ours as well. It was warm and spicy with a little hint of sweetness that cut the bitterness of the tea. It warmed my body to my toes. 

Ben downed his tea, set the cup down and sighed. I sipped mine slowly, and savored the warmth. Ben smiled as I finished my last bites of food and gulped the last bit of drink in my mug. 

Ben stood and bowed to the woman and pulled me up from my chair. As I stood, I felt a drowsiness I hadn't felt in a long time and plopped back on to my chair. 

"Ben," I sighed. "I don't think I can make it back. I'm so tired." I said as yawned and swayed on my seat. Ben yawned too and nodded. 

"I'm pretty tired too. Not to mention there's a wind storm out there now." He reasoned. "Sister? Is there any place we can stay? We can't go back in this weather. We both were nearly blown off our path just to get here." He said. 

The woman said something, and she turned around the room and began pulling pillows, blankets, and mats from trunks and cupboards. She laid the mats and pillows out and gave us each a pillow and a blanket. We settled in and she dimmed the lamp with a twist of a key on the side of it and got into her cot and mumbled in her language as she rolled over. Ben sat up and gazed at me with amazement.

"She just said she was glad the Jedi are back!"  
◇◇◇

Light poured in through a tiny window into a small pool of blinding intensity on the wall I faced. I groaned and turned away and my elbow hit the mat with a painful thud. I bolted up and looked around. The memory of last night flooded my mind and I jumped to my feet. 

"Ben!" I yelped and he groaned and turned over on his mat. His eyes shot open. 

"Oh, no! Gotta go, Miss Jgega!" Ben said hurriedly and grabbed my hand and I pulled him to his feet. We ran to the exit. I wrenched open the door and we bolted right into a large grey mass. We bounced back and gasped. Master Skywalker glared at us along with the entire padawan class that stood behind him. 

"Hey, guys!" Ben said cheerfully.

"Ben, what is this?" Master Luke said calmly, though the under current of anger rolled dangerously close to the surface of his tone. 

"We just found this place! I-isn't it awesome!" 

"Do you two have any idea how long we've been looking for you?" Master Luke asked. Ben and I shook our heads sheepishly. "Since early this morning when Hennix and Tai saw your beds were empty." Master Luke replied. 

"Well, thanks for worrying about us, guys!" Ben laughed nervously and scratched his head. "We're fine!" 

The woman shoved past us and put her arms over us protectively. Her arms dropped and her mouth fell open though when she saw Master Luke. She scurried around to the other stone buildings and began pounding on the doors and shouted in her language. Slowly, doors began opening and other people peered out. Some came up to us and seemed to observe us in awe. They tugged gently on our robes and chattered excitedly with each other until a door opened and an elder woman stepped forward over her threshold. 

The others gasped and stepped back away from us and made way for the elder woman. She gazed at us with narrow eyes and hobbled forward. She raised her hands and looked around at the other villagers.

"Jed-i!" She declared with a croak.

The villagers jumped up and down and chanted in celebration. The elder woman held her hands up again and quickly, everyone scattered back into their little homes. She took Master Luke's hand and led him to her own home. Master Skywalker went willingly and before they reached the door Master Luke turned around and cut his eyes at us.

"This isn't over." 

◇◇◇

While the elder woman and Master Luke were in the little hut, the women busied themselves with gathering baskets from their huts and storage buildings. Some dissapeared into their homes and soon smells of food and baking bread wafted through the air. The men gathered wood and showed some of the padawans how they started fires with old blaster Dedlanite. We all took to helping them with whatever they tasked us to do until they led us back to a stone and wooden circle, and made us sit on the benches outside of the huts.

An hour passed and Master Luke and the elder woman emerged from the stone hut. Master Luke smiled at her graciously and the elder woman took his hand. 

"Wel-come." She croaked.

"Thank you, Mother Achto."

She returned back to her hut and Luke turned to us. He clapped his hands and rubbed them together and seemed to struggle with his thoughts as he searched for words. Slowly, he stepped forward. 

"I have been instructed by Mother Achto that we shall be moving our living quarters to this location. They have offered to house us."

"What do you mean?" Voe asked.

"Apparently, they think we're impoverished and Mother Achto won't take no for an answer. They want our protection and in turn they will make sure we're fed, clothed, and sheltered." Master Luke answered. "But they are not our servants! They are here to help us focus on our path. We are to respect them. Understood?" 

"Yes, Master Luke." We all replied in unison.

"Very good. We will begin the move today." Then he cut his eyes to Ben and I. "You two. Come with me."

Master Luke turned on his heel and we followed him with our heads hung low. I knew we were in trouble. I went over every possible thing Master Luke might scold us about, and every counter argument I could give. We were out after dark? But we we couldn't sleep! We had knowledge about this place without saying anything? We just found it! I knew that was a lie, but I couldn't let Ben take the fall. We both were in this together. 

Suddenly, we stopped under a straw covered awning and Master Luke turned to face us. 

"You two made an amazing discovery, I'll give you that. Mother Achto ordered that I do not punish you, or be angry with you, so I'm not and I won't. Instead, I will give you the title of Jedi Jr. Ambassadors." 

I shot a glance at Ben and saw his eyes get wide as he looked at me with shock. A grin spread across his face but I knew it was too good to be true and sure enough there was a catch. 

"You both will ensure your fellow padawans are acting in accordance with the guidelines of the ordinance we draw up with the Yavini. You will write the ordinance together, and I will approve it if I find it agreeable. You will report on any resource we can supply to them, and any they can supply to us. They will tell you what rules they have and you will include it in our treaty. You will include all Jedi code in the code of conduct. Is that understood?"

"Yes, Master Luke." We grumbled. 

"Very good. You will both begin your duties tonight by helping the villagers serve our first dinner together, and you will include this day as an annual celebration in your treaty, which you will both help organize every year until you become Jedi Knights." Ben groaned and Luke shot him a smug smile "This is a high honor, Ben. Both of you have moved up in rank years ahead of schedule."

◇◇◇

Ben and I were taken to Mother Achto's stone hut. She pulled us in and stood us in the center of the room not that different from Miss Jgega's home. She pulled scrolls and two wooden boxes from shelves and pushed them into our arms.

"Tomorrow. Bring them. Tonight. Eat. Sleep. Many things to discuss." She croaked and pushed between us to her door. "Come with me." 

She shuffled out and we followed. We were led to a hut with two doors next to each other. She shoved me in one and Ben in the next door. I spun around and she pointed with both hands. 

"Ambassadors. Stay here. Your new home. Clean up. Meet back at fire circle. 15 minutes. Welcome." She croaked with a bow.

"Thank you, Mother Achto."

She shut the doors and I stood alone in my new room. I looked down at my load of parchment and the little wooden box in my arms and sighed. I looked around and saw a little desk like the one in the women's hut and dropped the load onto it's surface. I was a bit more careful with the wooden box of course and laid it gently on the table. I opened it and peered in. A calligraphy set made of polished wood, glass, and silver was nestled within a cloth made of some material I couldn't recognize, but woven into it was the Jedi symbol in faded scarlett threads. My fingers ghosted over the wooden pen and felt it's polished finish. Something flashed through my mind just then. A girl with a curtain of red hair, just a bit older than me hunched over her parchment. She sat back and looked up, our eyes met and I snatched my hand away from the pen in shock. 

"It's called a force memory." Ben said through the wall. 

"You saw it too?" I said

"Yeah, what did you see?"

"I saw a girl with red hair."

"I saw a boy with blue skin."

"Do you think they were Ambassadors too?"

"Probably."

I smirked at his simple answer and fidgeted with the set on the table. For a second I imagined I could see through the wall and Ben was laid back on his cot, looking rather comfortable. I smiled at the thought.

"Congratulations on your promotion, Ben." I said with a chuckle.

"Congratulations, Ambassador Ayala." He replied with his own laugh. 

"Who knew sneaking out in the middle of the night was going to get us promoted?" I mused. 

"Sorry, Ay'la. I must have been pretty tired." Ben sighed. "I keep getting you into trouble it seems."

"I like getting into trouble with you." I replied. My mouth drew into a little smile and I leaned on the wall. "Ben?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you ever get homesick?" I asked.

"Sometimes," He replied almost too quietly for me to hear through the stone. "But I'd rather be here with you. You've been more family to me then my own flesh and blood."

"Aw, don't say that, Ben. Your parents love you." 

"Of course they do, but they always left me behind. I always felt left behind. Their lives were so important. Mom is a princess. Dad a general. Uncle Chewie too. I was just me. A little kid." The frustration burned in his voice.

"And you're a prince!" I reminded him but he scoffed.

"Lip service, and prince of what? A cloud of rocks and junk floating around in space? It didn't mean that much to me. Plus, all of the attention got annoying. I just wanted to be a normal kid. Then my mom brought you and your mom home. That was the first time I had ever gotten to play with a normal kid. No stuck up royal family's kid, no weapons dealer's snotty kid, or a Senator's know it all kid. Just you. That meant the world to me that you were normal." 

"Normal, eh? Is that the only reason we're friends?" I said sarcastically. "Even though I'm the princess of Bespin?" 

"You know what I mean." He groaned. "And you would be an awesome princess." I smiled at that.

"Thanks, Ben."

I sighed and bounced away from the wall and laid out the calligraphy set. I noticed a small sink and faucet in the corner and I made my way over and turned the water on. I washed my hands and face and made a note the water was clean and sweet. I dried my hands off on my robes and sat down on my cot. As I looked around the room, I began to feel grateful for the privacy. My ninth cycle was just a few months away and I felt the extra space was what a young girl needed to grow. And to be honest, I didn't like the fact that I could hear everyone snore at night. I laid back on the cot and closed my eyes for a few moments until Ben's voice drifted through the wall.

"Hey, Ay'la?"

"What's up?" 

"I think it's been over 15 minutes."

We both shot out of our rooms and ran towards the fire circle as fast as we could. I dodged a woman as we tore around a corner and I heard Ben apologize hurriedly. We approached the stone circle and skidded to a halt. 

Mother Achto stood with folded hands and Master Luke glared disapprovingly. 

"Not a great start to your time as Ambassadors." Master Luke said disapprovingly.

"Sorry, Master Luke." Ben and I gasped as we tried to catch our breath. Mother Achto motioned for is to follow her and we stepped around Master Luke to get behind her but Master Luke grabbed my shoulder and took me aside. My stomach lurched with the thought of being scolded again, but Master Luke met my wince with worried eyes.

"Hey, kid? Are you hanging in there?" He asked sincerely. My brows furrowed with confusion.

"Yeah, Master Luke. I'm fine. Why?" I asked breathlessly. 

"You don't seem to be the type to wander off in the middle of the night. Is there something troubling you and Ben?"

"No, I don't think so? We were just restless and went exploring." I paused and bit my cheek thoughtfully. "Master Luke, I saw something today." I admitted. He gave me a tight smile and stood up. 

"Tell me about it in a little bit. Let's get all of this stuff," he waved his hand. "Out of the way and we can focus on you, okay?" I nodded and gave him a weak smile. 

"Okay, Master Luke." 

He turned and took a few steps before I spoke up again.

"Excuse me, Master Luke?" He stopped and spun around with a concerned look on his face. "Thank you for the opportunity to be an ambassador. I won't let you down."

Master Luke smiled and nodded before he turned back around and headed off.

◇◇◇


	5. The Calling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something in the jungle casts new shadows on Ayala's path.

I looked around and saw Ben and Mother Achto walking to the trees and tangled vines at the edge of the stone village. Ben glanced back and saw me standing where Master Skywalker had left me. 

"C'mon!" He called back and waved as I ran to catch up with him and Mother Achto.

"Sorry," I huffed as I approached them. "Master Luke wanted to talk to me." 

"What about?" Ben asked apprehensively as we headed into the jungle. He crouched down a bit and ducked under a tree branch.

"He asked if we were okay. I guess we really worried him." I shrugged and ducked too. 

"I have no regrets." Ben declared. "We wouldn't be junior ambassadors if we didn't get caught." He said with a laugh. 

"We wouldn't be walking through a bug infested jungle either." I countered as I swatted something buzzing in my ear.

"True." Ben shrugged.

"What's out here anyway, Mother Achto?" I asked.

"Jedi Temple. Must be blessed by those gone before you." She said. Ben and I stopped and looked at each other skeptically, but we shrugged it off and kept going. 

Soon enough, we came to a curtain of vines, and Mother Achto stood to the side and pulled them back. We stepped into a clearing and gazed in awe at the beautiful scene before us. 

Under a huge tree stood a red stone temple. At first I thought it was made of stone blocks but as we got closer, I could see it was carved out of a single stone the size of our own newly built Jedi Temple. Weathered stone Jedi stood sentinel on either side of a stone path that led to the ornate temple door. 

Mother Achto gently pushed Ben out on to the stone pavers and he walked down the path slowly as he took in the site. I was a little more apprehensive than Ben and stayed back with Mother Achto. Still, she waved her hand for me to move past her.

"Does Master Luke know we're out here?" I asked when I finally stepped into the clearing. She just grunted and shuffled ahead of me. Suddenly, I felt very aware of everything around us. The chirp and wing beats of the birds that flitted from the temple windows, the drone of the bugs through the trees, the animals that creeped through the jungle, and the sway of the trees in the wind as I approached the stone entrance and stepped over the threshold. Inside the temple was lit by sky lights from above. There was a stone altar that spanned the back of the of the room where a single jedi sat in meditation with it's outline radiating around it until it touched all four corners of the wall. Ben stood to one side side and seemed fascinated by the huge monument.

Mother Achto sat in front of the altar and motioned for us to sit as well. She began speaking in another language and I shot a questioning glance at Ben but he just shrugged sat.

"Have a bad feeling about this." I said as I sat down. I shut my eyes and listened to Mother Achto's voice as she chanted. I tried to clear my mind like Master Luke would tell us to when he would teach us about using the force. Slowly, I realized Mother Achto was actually singing a song. I smiled as I began to make out the melody and I found myself humming with her. Ben began humming too. I began to feel the vibrations of our joined voices as they bounced off of the stone walls until it became a wave through me that wouldn't stop. I snapped my eyes open and saw the walls appear to undulate around us. One side of the Jedi idol began to glow like a white, clouded crystal lit from within. Then, as if nothing special were happening Mother Achto stopped. Her gaze was even and unreadable as she looked at me and Ben. 

"You are Solo and Samsobal. Two of one force. One of light and one of shadow. Without light there is darkness. Without darkness there is blinding light. Rise, Ben Solo. Rise, Ayala Samsobal! Rise to the light and rise to the shadow!" She threw her hands out at us, and Ben and I rose high above the temple floor. The Jedi began to glow brighter on one side but the otherside- MY side began to swallow the light into a liquid shadow that seemed to slowly creep across the floor. Ben's side of the statue began to flood with bright white light. Mother Achto began her chant again until her voice echoed off the walls in harmony. The liquid shadow rushed up to my feet and washed over my whole body. Then, for me... there was perfect darkness. Perfect silence. I floated there in the void, and called out to the darkness.

"Hello?" 

"My child." 

"W-who are you?"

"I think you know." 

"Father."

"Yes."

"A-are you dead?"

"No one ever really dies, my daughter, but yes. I have left behind your current plane of existence. I am sorry." 

"I-I have so many questions."

"All will be revealed in due time, my daughter. It is time for you to return now, Ayala."

A pinprick of light glimmered in the distance before me and began to grow until it bathed the temple walls around me. 

"You could have hurt them! Severely!" I heard Master Skywalker's voice boom through the temple. 

"I would not have. They must be blessed by their ancestors." Mother Achto replied simply. 

"You're not a jedi! You-"

"Don't know the ways of the force?" She interjected. "The force does not only belong to you, Master Luke." She looked down at me with a look of knowing serenity. "See? She is awake." 

Ben rushed from Master Luke's side and knelt beside me. 

"Are you okay?"

I propped myself up on my side. The room spun slightly, but I felt fine.

"How long was I out?" I rasped, my throat was drier than I expected. 

"A few moments, not long after I came to." Ben replied. 

I sat up and looked around. Nothing had changed. The walls stood strong and solid, the Jedi idol was back to normal, and I felt fine. 

"Well, what DID you do anyway?" Master Luke asked in frustration. 

"I could feel their bond. I could sense that one was in the light and the other was shadow." She croaked. "To find which one was which, I take them here." 

Master Luke gave me a look of fury and turned away before stomping out of the temple. Mother Achto looked down on me with understanding and knelt down with Ben next to me. 

"The shadow is not what the Jedi make it out to be. You are on the path to heal. So many do not understand the force." Mother Achto sighed and shook her head. "You did well. I knew the shadow would call for you." 

"But that's the darkside. I don't want to be evil." I said as I stood. Panic stormed in my stomach. Mother Achto stood and put her hands on my shoulders 

"The shadow is a gift. Do not fear. Remember, balance is essential to the force." She looked at Ben. "There must be darkness and light." She looked back at me with a warm smile. "Don't let your Master get you down. He will come around when he sees."

I smiled weakly, not fully convinced, but her words brought me some hope. I shrugged her off and stepped back. Ben looked at me like I grew a horn still, but he threw his arm over my shoulders, and we walked out of the Temple. 

"Thank you, Ben."

◇◇◇

Master Luke didn't look at me that whole night. The banquet went on as planned, but I barely ate. I felt sick to my stomach from the anxiety of having any connection to the dark side. I hated that Master Luke ignored me and Ben even sat next to me in silence. I couldn't wait to go back to my stone hut and never come out. I ate my food and stood from my chair. Master Luke stood too with a look of apprehension. 

"I'm going to my room, Master Skywalker. If that's okay?" I said without meeting his eyes. 

"I want to speak with you first, padawan." Master Luke said and the other padawans ooh-ed. I shot them my best glare and they all fell silent. Mother Achto gave Master a warning glance and shoved a peice of bread into her mouth and chewed grumpily.  
I shoved my seat back and followed Master Luke grudgingly. He rounded a corner of a stone hut and stopped. I stopped a few feet away from him and stared at him defiantly. 

"You said you saw something today. What did you see?" He asked.

"Master Luke, are you mad at me?" I asked straight away. I was tired of beating around the bush. He sighed and turned away as he ran his hand through his hair.

"I'm going to be honest with you." Master Luke said quietly. "I don't know everything about the force. There's many things that I have yet to truly understand." He spun around, his brow furrowed in frustration. "I know about the dark side, but it's been forbidden knowledge to Jedi. I've heard of other paths, but I haven't been able to learn about them. The Jedi before me have obscured that knowledge. They've made it impossible to learn about that. I don't want to think that I can't teach you just because you had an interaction with the dark side." Master Luke looked back at me.

"I became a Master Jedi because I defeated a follower of the dark side. A master. It haunts me how dedicated they were to the dark side of the force. How many billions of people they had killed. The dark side has not been good to our galaxy." 

"Master Skywalker," I said reverently. "I don't feel evil. I don't want to kill anyone. I don't know what the dark side is, but maybe Mother Achto might understand something we don't? And she never called it the dark side. She called it the shadow. Maybe she knows a different path that we don't?" Master Luke looked back at me bitterly.

"Maybe, but I can't teach you until I know for sure."

"I understand." I conceded. 

"I still want to know what you saw before this." Master Luke said. 

I looked up at him and gauged his sincerity. I saw the genuine concern in his eyes, so I decided it was okay to continue. 

"I saw a force memory of a girl with red hair, and Ben saw a boy with blue skin when we touched the writing set Mother Achto gave us." I answered at last. 

Master Luke sighed in relief. 

"Ah, yes. A memory attached to an item." He said. 

"She seemed to look right at me. It startled me. I thought I was standing in front of her. It felt like she saw me too."

"There are many mysteries of the force that I don't know about." Master Luke laughed nervously. "It seems like I have a lot to learn still."

"I'm sorry for making you worry, Master Luke. I swear, I will never become a Sith. Never." I said quietly. "I want to become a good Jedi. I want to defend the galaxy."

"I know you do, Ayala. I believe you. But the dark side is powerful. We have to be careful. Especially when-" Master Luke stopped suddenly and became tense.

"When what, Master Skywalker?"

He smiled halfheartedly and shook his head. 

"I just want you to be careful. You're young and have so many questions, and you're right to be curious. Still, some questions and better left alone. Now, go to bed. We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow."

◇◇◇

I closed my door and leaned back against it. It seemed I was back in Master Luke's good graces, but I was still confused about why I was out of them in the first place. I slid down the door and sat down on the stone floor. My head settled in my hands and I sighed in frustration. The dark side scared me, but having been at that temple and Mother Achto looked so unbothered by the darkside that after that I just felt numb to it. I didn't know what to believe at that point.  
Soon a light knock sounded from the other side of the door. 

"Hey, are you all right?" I frowned at the sound of Ben's voice, but I didn't answer. I was so tired and so done with talking. I just wanted him to go away. 

"Okay, good night, A." He said quietly. I heard his door open and shut again as he went into his side of the hut. Finally, I stood and shuffled to my cot and snuggled under the covers and whispered. 

"Good night, B."


	6. A Walk in the Shadow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A message from the otherside only brings confusion.

"My child." A voice floated through my mind. 

"Father." My voice answered. 

"You've been so alone. I'm so sorry I couldn't be there for you, my sweet daughter."

"Father, I must ask- Who are you? How can I find you?" 

"You've already found me. I have been searching for you for so long. Please, forgive me for leaving you."

"I always... hoped to find you. I always wondered who you were. Why? Why did you leave us- Mother and I? We needed you!"

"I doubt you could understand how much I loved your mother. She was such a beautiful woman and so intelligent. I had been searching for a being to be my equal in every way for so long. I thought I dreamed your mother into existence when I first met her. She was everything I had ever wanted."

"Then why? Why weren't you there?"

"My darling, things will be revealed in good time, as the force will allow."

"Father, what do you look like? When can we meet? Can we meet?

"All things will be revealed, as the force will allow, Ayala." 

I woke gasping for air, covered in a balmy sweat. The voice that claimed to be my father echoed though my mind. All things will be revealed. Of course. 

"Ayala? Are you okay?" Ben's voice floated through the wall.

"Y-yeah, I think so." I croaked through my dry throat.

"You were talking to someone. You called him father. I thought you didn't know him?" 

"I thought so too. He's been talking to me since we went to the temple." 

"You have to tell Master Luke, Ay'la." 

"I know." I sighed at the thought of bringing up anything to do with the temple, let alone a disembodied voice that now spoke to me in my dreams. My stomach flip-flopped just imagining Master Luke's reaction. 

"Tell Master Luke, okay?" Ben reaffirmed. "Tell him, or I will."

I sat up onto my bed at Ben's words and thought about his threat for a moment.

"Why would you think I wouldn't, Ben?"

"We don't know if the darkside is trying to hurt you. Master Luke would know if it's a trap."

"You think I haven't thought of that already?" I said accusingly. "Everything in my life has been too good to be true. Even you." I spat the killing blow out like a snake spat poison. Ben made no more sound and the silence filled my ears.   
Once again my thoughtless strike hurt him, but this time I truly felt ashamed. He only wanted to make sure I wasn't in danger. 

I laid back down and turned over to my side and closed my eyes and forced myself to sleep. I wanted to talk to the voice that claimed to be my father and get some real  
answers. 

◇◇◇

Blackness filled my dreams. A woman stood on a cliff, whirls of black silk swirled around her. Her skin glowed and her eyes were shut against the sunset that loomed on the edge of the horizon. I could hear voices of torment. Countless voices that cried out from the light of the sun. The woman's eyes snapped open and my heart sank. I realized why the voices came from the light. Then suddenly the voices were silent. The woman rushed to the very edge of the cliff and nearly fell as she tried in vain to reach out to those voices. She fell to her knees and looked back right at me with rage in her eyes.

"This is all your fault! You could have saved him!" 

"Who? Ben? Was Ben on that planet? Please, tell me what's going on!" I stammered in panic. 

"You did this! They're all dead because of you!" She stood up and charged. Her black silks billowing behind her. Her teeth bared in hatred and anguish as the black swallowed her and everything in sight. 

"Is this the future?" I spoke into the darkness.

"It is a message." My supposed father's voice rang through the darkness.

"Was Ben on that planet? Was that my fault?" 

"The message was for you. It is yours to learn from as you will." 

"But how will I protect Ben?"

"How do you know it was Ben?" The voice asked cynically.

"Please, I can't let anything happen to him. I swore. I promised I would never leave him!"

"All will be revealed as the force will allow." 

"Father, please! How can I save Ben?!" 

I tore out of my dream and sat up. This time I was pouring sweat. 

"I'll be back, Ben." I gasped as I pulled on my tunic, and boots. I stood and bolted from my hut to run to Master Luke's. The Moons' light blazed the gravel trail around me as I rounded corners and wove through the little village. I finally reached his own metal door and skidded to a halt. I pounded on the door until he opened it and the moonlight washed over his startled face.

"What is it?" Master Luke rasped, his voice still dry from sleep.

"I have to talk to you." I gasped as I pushed by him into his hut. I sat down at his little table and concentrated on what I wanted to tell him until he finally closed the door and sat down.

"What's this about?"

"Something has been s-s-s..." 

"Say it, it's okay." Master Luke earged me on.

"What I'm trying to say is, my f-f-f-" 

"What's going on?"

"Ben's in trouble." Master Luke stood at this, but I put my hands up to stop him. "Not now! But in the f-f-f-"

"Future?" Master Luke asked.

"Yes! I've having nightmares." I said quietly. 

"Since when?" 

"Since you found me." I said after a moment. "Darkness and monsters, people dieing. A w-w-w- a l-l-l"

"A woman?" Master Luke asked.

"Yes!" A sharp pain sheared through my brain. "Ah!" I cried as I grabbed the back of my head. As quickly as it came it was gone. I looked up at Master Luke and saw his concern. No doubt the pain was related.

"Something is interfering with your mind."

"It's gotten worse since the temple. That's when the v-v-v- the v-v-"

"The voices?" I shook my head and lifted a finger. "A voice." Master Luke confirmed and I nodded. All right, come on. I think we owe Mother Achto a late night visit."

Master Luke pulled on his boots and stood. He pulled open the door and we set out for the short walk to Mother Achto's hut.

◇◇◇

Mother Achto seemed calm as Master Skywalker told her about my dreams and the voice and how I could barely get the words to describe them out of my head without hurting myself. Mother Achto just smiled as he finished and looked at me serenely.

"This is part of walking in shadow. You have a connection with a being from the Vergence Scatter. One who will guide you. It seems the path of shadow has been reaching out to you since you discovered your connection to the force." She thought about something for a moment and continued. "These lessons are for you, and you alone, and revealing them is forbidden it seems." 

"I don't understand them." 

"If you stand too close to an image it is blurred and hard to make out, yes? If you're too far away, they are too small. If you only read one chapter of a book, you cannot understand the plot, nor will you know the characters of which it describes. In time, all will be-"

"Revealed. Right." I finished, dissatisfied with the lack of any real answers.


	7. The Gift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ayala discovers a mysterious object.

"What is the Vergence Scatter?" I asked Mother Achto.

"The Vergence Scatter is where the energy of all things that cannot walk through this dimension anymore go." 

"The World Between Worlds." Master Luke affirmed. 

Sadly, as much as I didn't want to believe it, at that moment I had to admit to myself that my father was dead. 

"I am not dead, Ayala." My father's voice spoke quietly to me. I stood up in shock. "It's okay, Ayala. Don't be afraid. Sit, please." 

Master Luke had gotten up and knelt down to my level, concern dancing through his face. "It's happening right now isn't it?" He asked. I nodded. He shot a look at Mother Achto and she nodded too.

"What did it say?" Master Luke rasped.

"You know she can't tell you, Master Skywalker. These are messages for her." Mother Achto chided.

"Sit." My father's voice ordered.

I sat with a huff and slammed my hand on the table. Pain flashed behind my eyes and I crushed my other hand over them. I grunted through my gritted teeth and gasped for air but it only made me feel nauseated. 

"I'm sorry. I didn't want them to be upset." The voice said apologetically.  
"Are you alright?" I nodded my head slowly as the pain subsided. 

I took my hand from my eyes and saw Master Luke watching me with concern and horror. Mother Achto looked just as serene as before.

"Are you alright?" Master Luke asked in the exact same tone as my father's and I snapped my eyes up at him in confusion. There was no way Master Luke knew what my father said. 

"I think I've had enough for the night." I said and stood. I eyed Master Luke and Mother Achto as I waited for something else to happen. Thankfully, nothing did as I crossed the room to make my exit. I closed the door behind me with a sigh. I could hear Master Luke yell at Mother Achto and she scolded him for not truly knowing the ways of the force. I growled and stomped my way back to my hut. 

Ben sat half asleep in my door way and perked up on my noisy approach. "Are you alright?" He asked, grogginess edged his voice. I stopped and looked at him incredulously. 

"You are the third person to ask me that tonight and you know what?" Ben's eyes went wide at my suddenly angry outburst. "I don't think I am." Ben stood up and grabbed me as I began to cry. I sobbed as he gathered me into his arms to hug me. He pushed me back gently as he reached for the metal door and helped me inside even as I bawled. He sat me on the bed and pulled my boots and tunic off. Slowly, I began to stop crying and he crawled onto my cot behind me and pulled me in against his chest. I sniffed the last tears away and finally began to drift off. 

"Goodnight, A."

"Goodnight, B."

◇◇◇◇

"That boy seems quite fond of you, Ayala." My father's voice said gently.

"We've been friends for a long time. I'm glad he's there for me."

"He's there for you? Seems to me you're there for him more often than he is for you." My father said playfully. I wracked my brain as I tried to figure out if my father was joking or not. 

"What do you mean?" I finally asked.

"It seems he's more worried about his own hide. Didn't he find this place when he went off without you? Didn't he get offended when you showed force abilities before he did? And he did threaten you tonight, didn't he?"

"Sure, but-" My brain couldn't wrap around the words my father said. Sure Ben and I had our moments but he was my friend. 

"He's your friend, of course. I'm just saying, be careful. You don't know what people are hiding in their hearts. Even those we love the most." Father said sagely. 

"Yes, Father."

Suddenly, a great thunder clap woke me from my sleep. My heart raced as I sat up but Ben reached up and pulled my trembling frame back into his arms. 

"It's just a storm, Ay'la." 

"What time is it?" I asked.

"It has to be mid morning." Ben grumbled as I pulled away and turned over to face him. He pushed his hand under the wad of tunics he balled up to make a pillow and yawned. I watched his face relax again and I sighed.

"Do you care about me, Ben?" I asked him as I recalled what my father said. Ben smiled with his eyes closed and chuckled a little.

"Are you kidding me? You're my best friend. Of course I care about you." He replied. He suddenly became very still and peeped open an eye at me. His mouth turned up in one corner and his brows knitted together with playful suspicion. "Why are you asking?"

I sighed and shook my head, I knew my father was just making sure I was being smart, but I knew in my heart that Ben was my friend. He was my best friend out of all the other children who have come to this desolate planet, but something did weigh on my mind.

"You'll never leave me, will you Ben?" I whispered, tears stinging my eyes at humbling myself enough to ask him such a question. He pulled me in against his chest and took a deep breath and sighed.

"I'll never leave you, Ayala. Cross my heart." He said sincerely.

I smiled and snuggled into his shirt and listened to the rain patter on the stone roof for a while.

◇◇◇◇

The next few months went by pretty quickly. My father's voice spoke to me warmly and encouraged me during training. He admired my and Ben's collaboration on the treaty we worked on, proud that I had been selected for the task. Ben, Master Luke, and the other padawans gave me weird looks and sideways glances when I would speak to him aloud. Still, I was grateful for the guidance and support. I didn't want to admit it at the time, but I needed my mother and missed her terribly, and Father helped fill the void she left in my life then. The others didn't understand it, but like Mother Achto said, it was for me and only me, and they didn't have to understand a thing. I just smiled knowing my father was there with me.

Then came my 9th cycle. 

I sat out early that morning and watched our red planet loom over the trees. I really missed my mother that night. I thought of my mother's smiling face as she took out her famous Bantha milk cakes from the oven. I sighed and kicked the rock closest to me. 

"What is wrong, Ayala." Father asked.

"It's my birthday today." I said quietly. 

"Happy birthday, my dear. I'm sorry I didn't know. Does anyone else know?" I nodded. "Ben, right?" I nodded again. 

"I don't think Jedi celebrate birthdays though. I don't want to say anything to the others and get made fun of for having attachments." I said. 

"Well, I am not a Jedi, and I have not been able to celebrate one birthday with you. So, today I would like to take you somewhere special." Father declared. 

"Where to?" I asked excitedly. 

"Why don't we go to where we first found one another?" He suggested.

"But I have training." 

"We deserve this, Ayala. How about some real father-daughter time, eh?" 

I'll never forget his voice when he asked that. It filled me with warmth. I felt like a human again and not just a tool for the future of our republic. I conceded and stood up. 

"Hey, you're up early." Ben yawned and stretched as he stumbled from his hut. "Whatcha doin'?"

"I- uh, it's my birthday today, and I-I wanted to uh-" I stammered nervously. 

"You, uh-uh- wanna play hookie?" He finished with a impish grin, never one to want to miss out on mischief. I smiled. I didn't have the heart to tell him no, and nodded. Father didn't protest, so Ben and I snuck out of the village and back into the jungle, through the trees and vines until we reached the temple. 

"There it is, my daughter. Where we first became a family again. I'm glad your friend is here too. I didn't want you to walk through the jungle alone." Father said.

"Man, you really wanted to come all the way out here?" Ben huffed as we came to the clearing. It was warm for the early morning and we worked up a sweat already.

"This is w-w-w-" 

"Ah, you can't say it, can you?" Ben interjected. I just nodded and shrugged apologetically. We started up the stone walkway and entered the temple once more. I approached the altar and ran my fingers over the red granite surface. It was smooth to the touch. My hand cleared away a track of dust and I noticed beautiful red, black, and white crystals in the stone that glittered in the soft twilight. 

"Wow." Ben said as he stepped up and stood beside me. "I bet if we cleaned all of this we could see ourselves in it."

"Yeah, for sure." I said quietly.

Ben pulled off his tunic and began to swipe away the dust. I rolled my eyes and begrudgingly pulled off mine too. Together, we cleared off about twenty feet of the altar which still left plenty of dust on the rest of it. The jedi figure in the center was tough to clean with all the nooks and crannies, so we saved it for last. 

"You gotta get up there and clean it." Ben said as he caught his breath. "You're small enough for me to help you up onto the table and get to it."

"Hey! I'm not small!" I argued.

"Please, you're the shortest one in the entire class, don't deny it." He teased.

"Fine." I growled as he kneeled and made a foothold for me from his hands on his knee. I sighed and stepped up. His body shot up and I was catapulted up onto the altar. I collapsed next to the jedi with a huff.

"Ow." 

"Sorry." Ben apologized with a laugh.

I got up on my knees to face the jedi and began to clear away the dust. Slowly, the details of the sculpture became more refined. It was androgynous with high cheekbones and hair that flew behind it to a point. Its eyes were shut in eternal meditation. A single black and white split crystal in the jedi's chest glittered as I made my final swipe. I gasped.

"Don't let Ben see that." Father whispered. "This is what I wanted you to find. Happy birthday, my daughter. Take it and keep it safe."

"What's wrong?" Ben called up.

I pulled the crystal from it's nook with a private smile and tucked it into my shirt.

"Nothing, there's just a huge chunk of dirt." I lied and pretended to clean the spot extra well. "There!" I declared as I jumped down. 

Ben grinned at me and glanced up at our handy work. He sighed and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. "Looks like we worked today after all!"


	8. Saber of Darkness and Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ayala finds a use for the mysterious crystal she plucked from the heart of the Jedi. Her parentage comes into question. Who is the voice that speaks to her really?

"What made you think it was a good idea to leave without an adult into the jungle?" Master Luke seethed, his anger barely contained despite his best efforts to control his emotions. He crossed his arms and glared down at us as we looked up. Ben stepped forward.

"Please, Master Luke. It was my fault." He looked back at me sympathetically. "It's Ay'la's birthday today and I convinced her to play hookie. We always celebrated her birthday back on Chandrila. Now that we're padawans... well... yeah..." He shrugged apologetically.

Master Luke rolled his eyes and sighed, his head shook with irritation.

"I am beginning to think you two are bad influences on each other. I have half a mind to separate you both."

Mother Achto, who had been sitting in her chair serenely waved her hand and laughed. 

"If you do separate them, you will only cause more trouble." 

"Well, they keep sneaking off! What am I supposed to do? Keep rewarding bad behavior?" Master Luke ranted. 

Mother Achto smiled shook her head, amused at Master Luke's dramatic outburst. 

"These two are bound by their friendship. Their loyalty to each other keeps them grounded. Unwise to keep them apart." She croaked. 

Master Skywalker glared at us. Just as he seemed like he would explode, he turned on his heel and stormed out of Mother Achto's hut and slammed the metal door behind him.  
Mother Achto chuckled roughly and leaned back in her chair. 

"So many Masters I have met, yet they know nothing of the real ways of the force. It is always light and dark, good and bad. Control your emotions and feel nothing. Nonsense! To feel is to be connected to the force! Keep feeling! When you stop having emotions, you are dead. And you have many years before then to live and learn the force." She preached. "You two are a balance. One is light and the other walks in shadow. Both can be bad or good. Light can be cold and sterile, darkness can burn all it touches, but together, there is balance." She sat up suddenly and her eyes turned to slits and gazed at me. "You finally have what you need to harness your powers of the shadow. Show it to me, child." I gulped and reached into my shirt and produced the crystal. Ben looked at me with confusion. She snatched it from my hand and studied it intensely. "This is from the temple. How did you-" She gasped and sat back again and regarded me like I had told her something profound that she never thought about before. "One that walks in shadow and in light. HA!" Ben and I looked at each other and back at her.

"What are you talking about, Mother?" I asked.

"That temple in the jungle is designed to honor those like you. Once in a generation there is a Jedi that can walk both paths and bring balance to the force. It's an ancient prophecy."

"That was Uncle Luke, he brought balance to the force." Ben argued.

"He did not!" Mother Achto said indignantly. "He killed two sith lords. That is not bringing balance to the force." She said as she waved her hand dismissively. "Balance is conquering the divide that splits the dual aspects of the force. Bringing both sides together. The Jedi have used the prophecy to further their own agenda, making their practice the only way to bring balance. There should be no sides." She handed me back the crystal and eyed Ben and I. "Separation only creates more trouble." She said as she extended her arm to give me back the crystal. I took it tentatively. 

"I can't be this person," I said in disbelief. "There must be a mistake."

Mother Achto sat forward, her eyes turned to slits. 

"Do you know why that crystal stayed in that temple for so long?" I shook my head. "That crystal can only be pried from the Jedi's chest by the chosen one." 

My eyes drifted down to the dark crystal in my hand and sighed.

"How do I use it?" 

"You'll see. Soon. Now go. I have a feeling you'll need to get to at least some training today.

◇◇◇

We sat down at our table and saw a pile of junk on it's surface. Master Skywalker gave us a quick flash of his glare then looked back at the rest of the padawans. 

"What's this junk?" Voe asked with clear disgust.

"Today we hit a milestone in your training. It is true that a warrior can fight without a weapon, but not all warriors are Jedi. Jedi carry and use sabers of light. These tools become part of us. Intuned with our intentions. It protects us as we protect it. Today we will begin our journey of creating a lightsaber. This junk is all the parts you will need to build them."

A man with thinning grey hair approached our temple from the distance and waved. His coat billowed behind him in the wind and several small pouches bounced back and forth on his belt. Master Luke smiled and clapped his hand on the man's shoulder at his arrival.

"You're late." Master Luke said jokingly.

"Or am I right on time?" The man retorted.

"This is my old friend, Lor San Tekka." Master Luke laughed.

"Are you a Jedi too?" Voe interjected.

"Only in my heart. Please, you all may call me San Tekka. And to show you my good will, I bring gifts!" He untied the bags from his belt and laid them on a table. 

"What are they?" Vai asked impatiently. 

"These are kyber crystals." My face blanched at the word crystal. "The essential part of a lightsaber." Master Luke replied. "They are intuned with the force." 

He and San Tekka began to pass around the bags. Ben and I eyed each other nervously. We received ours and Master Luke arched a brow at us as he turned to walk back to the front of the class. 

"Infront of you is all you need to create a lightsaber. I will explain each part and we will assemble it together. Let's begin."

It took several days to assemble our sabers. Long hours of assembly and Master Luke's explanations exhausted us all far more than our physical training ever did. Finally, the last day of assembly came. The crystals we all received seemed to call out to be released from their pouches. Antsy fngers twitched and danced near them, eager to get their sabers finally functional. Master Luke held up his crystal and placed it into it's proper position. The other students all took their crystals out of of their bags and held them up to the light. Some were blue or green, some yellow or orange, one was purple, none I noted were black. My assigned crystal stayed in it's bag while the other meant for me stayed in my shirt. My hands suddenly shook with the fear of what would happen when I finally placed it into my saber. 

"When you place your crystal into your saber, do so with intent. Let the force move through your fingers and into your crystal. Imbue your crystal with your intention." 

The other padawans slowly, one by one placed their crystals into their sabers. Even Ben placed his crystal into it's new home. I could feel Master Luke's eyes on me. I gulped and reached into my shirt. My fingers found the crystal and I held it up. I willed the force to connect me and my crystal.

"Help me bring balance to the force." I heard myself say and I let my hand drift to my saber. I clicked it into place and closed the shell over it. The other padawans ignited their sabers and ooh-ed and aww-ed at their handiwork. Ben and I looked at each other and back to our sabers. Ben knew his would be normal like the others, but I knew mine would be different somehow. As the other padawans tinkered with their new sabers Master Luke slowly strode to me, suspicion darkened his face.

"Turn on your saber, Ayala. What are you waiting for?"

I looked up at him defiantly. I knew he would be mad when he turned it on. 

"You haven't put in your crystal yet." Master Luke stated as he looked at the untied bag still on my table.

"S-she did, Master Skywalker." Ben spoke up.

"Then turn it on. Did you not make your saber correctly?" 

I looked down at my saber and I picked it up. I stood up and held it firmly, prepared for anything that might happen. My eyes locked with Master Skywalker's and I felt my finger slide the ignition switch on. 

The blade flashed on violently. One side swallowing black and the other bright, firey white. Master Luke's eyes flashed with rage and reached to grab my weapon, but I stepped back into a defensive stance. Ben stepped in front of me protectively. Master Luke gazed at us with rage. 

"She's the chosen one, Uncle Luke!" Ben shouted, his voice cracked with adrenaline. Master Skywalker seethed. "She'll bring balance to the force!" Ben pleaded desperately in my favor. He pushed forward slightly when Master Luke didn't back off. The other padawans became defensive and moved in unison to defend our teacher. I turned off my saber and put my hands up. 

"Please! I don't want to fight! I'm just as confused as everyone else is." I declared. "Talk with Mother Achto! She knows what's going on." 

◇◇◇

Ben and I were sent to our quarters. After thirty minutes we were sent for by Tai, one of our fellow padawan learners. 

"H-hey, guys? Master Skywalker wants to see you." He called through our doors. I pulled open my door and Tai looked taken aback when he saw us both step out from Ben's side of the hut. "Come on guys." He said authoratively. 

We followed him and came to Mother Achto's hut. He opened the door and motioned us in. He eyed my saber then nodded at me respectfully as I passed and shut the door behind us.

Mother Achto regarded me with pride. Master Luke seemed calm but wary as he looked from me to Ben. 

"I'm sorry I reacted so harshly." Master Luke apologized. "I was afraid of what I didn't know." 

"A child born without a father." Mother Achto mused. 

"But I-I" I tried to argue. 

"Ah, but he is not a physical being. I doubt he ever was." Mother Achto retorted.

"Still, how could I be born if I don't have a physical father?" I asked.

"The force is your father. No doubt. Surely, you and your voice should discuss this possibility further."

Master Luke looked at me like I had sprouted a third eye and developed a slime coat. When he saw I noticed him he looked away nervously. Lor San Tekka seemed neutral as he leaned against the stone wall behind him. They weren't telling us something, I could sense it. With a glance I could see Ben's face was unreadable as he gazed at Master Luke then he shot a quick glance at me. 

"Thank you for the apology, Uncle Luke, but we'd better be getting home. It's starting to get dark." Ben declared and stood. He helped me up and we practically bolted from the hut. 

"Master Skywalker is keeping secrets. I can feel it!" I huffed as we ran back to our hut.

"I know. Keep quiet for now, we don't know who might tattle on us." Ben warned. We finally shut my door behind us and turned to face each other, both of us confused about what we just saw. 

"There was another, before Master Luke was the chosen one. Even he doubts that he was the chosen one after all." Ben said quietly.

"What do you mean?" I hissed.

"He didn't kill the sith. Someone else did." Ben continued.

"How do you know?" 

"I-I could hear him think it." Ben sighed.

"You can read thoughts?" 

"Sometimes. Ever since the temple." He whispered, his eyes full of guilt that he hadn't told me sooner.

"Wow, can you read mine?" I said as I grinned, but Ben just shook his head slowly.

"No, I can't read yours." 

"Oh," I said somewhat deflated. "What do you think that means?" Ben's expression suddenly went dark.

"It's probably your voice." He said bitterly. I shot him a glare and he smiled apologetically. "Sorry, I still don't trust that thing."

"I know, but really." I stopped before I stuttered again. "I just wish you could understand." I sighed.

"I do, but I swear if it hurts you-" 

"Thank you, Ben, but it won't." I assured him.

"Anyway, be sure to keep your saber close, just incase anyone tries anything funny. You sleep. I'll keep watch. I feel like we can't trust anyone right now." He grunted as he pushed open the door.

"I'm glad I can trust you, Ben." I said as I sat my saber on my bedside table. He stopped and looked back at me with a crooked smile. 

"I'm glad I can trust you." He replied and ducked out. The door shut behind him. I sat down on my cot and pulled off my boots and tunic. I sighed and eyed my new saber. I reached out to my father, desperate to hear his voice.

"What is it, Father?" I asked.

"The only weapon that with your power, shall bring balance to the force." 

"But the sith have been defeated." I countered.

"Sweet girl, they are only preparing. They drone together like bees in a hive. Feeding and gathering their resources. Waiting to strike fear and darkness into the galaxy. You will someday defeat the sith once and for all."

The heaviness of what father said settled over me. 

"Mother Achto said I would create unity. There would be no sides."

"The Sith would never allow that, but once they are defeated you can teach the Jedi to use both light and shadow to help them fight darkness."

"To fight fire with fire?" I concluded.

"In a sense," Father replied. "More to use all of the benefits of the force to keep evil at bay."

"Were you ever alive?" I asked but I already knew the answer in my heart.

"Once perhaps." 

"You weren't alive when I was made?" 

"Your mother was beautiful, and strong. She had a pure heart even though she was in a world that tried to corrupt her constantly. I knew these would be traits that would be passed to my child, so I came to her in a dream. I asked her if she wanted a powerful child, a special child. She said yes, and the rest is history. Your history."

I nodded my head and laid back on my cot. I wasn't sure I truly understood what I had to do. There seemed too much to do for just one little girl. How was I supposed to defeat the Sith? Where were they? When would I have to fight them? Then to find out my father was the force itself? I sighed and got up. I picked up my saber and walked out to sit with Ben. 

Ben smiled half heartedly and patted the ground beside him.

"Couldn't sleep?" 

"Yeah, too much to think about." I sighed and plopped down next to him.

"I know what you mean." He said as he draped his arm over my shoulder. I tucked my head into the crook of his neck and gazed up at the night sky.

"Don't worry," Ben said quietly. "We're in this together."


	9. The Half-life of Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A dark vision of past betrayal and perhaps the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those few who have been reading this, I am so sorry it's taken so long to post a chapter! My husband and I had a Trunk-or-Treat out on our property for Halloween and that took a lot of my time. Don't worry! It was all very safe and socially distanced! Any who, please enjoy! Hope your holiday is safe!

The days became cooler. Much cooler. Storms became very frequent. We all prepared for the winter months the villagers warned us of. We all had to gather fuel for our hearths and hunted animals and gathered fruits and vegetables to dry and can for the winter that loomed on our horizon. 

Lor San Tekka brought provisions from a supply run he had made of cooking fuel, food rations, and thicker cloth to make our winter robes, mantles, gloves, and hosiery from. We rushed to make these things as the weather became more frigid. 

We were happy though. The villagers had several feast days that made the cooling season festive and served to fatten us up slightly. They told us these were annual and we could look forward to more feast days in the winter months as well. 

The last feast of the cooling month, was the first short day of the year and was a bonfire night. As we sat around it, Mother Achto told us all that the days would eventually become so short that they would become nonexistent. We all exchanged uneasy looks. 

"Our winter is frigid, and lasts 5 months as we pass behind our planet, but we are well prepared." 

Master Skywalker looked unfazed. I suspected he already knew the moon's cycle and knew we would be able to endure it.

"This will help us learn to survive some of the most hostile environments, and you won't even need to-" Master Skywalker stopped himself and looked at San Tekka apologetically. 

"You won't have to do some of the hairbrained things we had to do when we were younger." San Tekka chuckled.

Master Luke looked relieved and hugged his mantle around him with a pensive smile. 

I was thankful for the distraction. Most of the padawans had avoided me from fear or distrust, but we all had to band together and that meant overcoming our differences to brace ourselves. 

Even that night was cold but there was no breeze, so we were able to stay warm with just our newly made mantles and regular robes. 

Ben and I, along with Tai and Hennix sat on a log and watched the flames dance on the edge as Mother Achto told stories of past winters and legends. That went on for a while until we all began to yawn one by one. Master Luke chuckled and stood as a few of the padawans began to nod off. 

"Alright, kids. Let's go get some rest." He said loud enough to wake his sleeping pupils. 

Ben jumped up and offered his hand to help me up off of the log. Hennix stood and yawned and stretched and Tai wrapped his mantle around him and slowly got to his feet as well. The other padawans shuffled past us, but Voe stopped and leered at us suspiciously.

"Why are you fraternizing with her?" She asked, her voice dripped with discust. 

"Leave her alone, Voe." Tai warned.

"You know she's a darkside user." She spat. 

"She is not." Hennix sighed and rolled his eyes as he wrapped his mantle tighter for his walk back to his hut. 

I glared at her and took a step forward, but Ben pulled me back.

"You're no bastion of the lightside yourself, Voe. Maybe you should focus on your own path? Or maybe you're jealous?" Ben said as he stepped in front of me protectively.

"What would I be jealous of? She's weird. No one likes her. She's got that unnatural saber. Everyone knows she'll be turned to the darkside the moment she gets the chance. She can't be trusted." Voe declared bitterly. 

"I would trust her before I would trust you." Ben said simply.

"Come on, Voe. She can't help that the crystal chose her." Tai said diplomatically. "She's just a kid, just like us. We're all in this together, yeah?" 

Voe looked me up and down.

"You want to kill me right now, don't you?" She said accusingly.

"No, I want you to leave me alone." I replied calmly. 

"I can feel the hate in you, don't deny it." She said as she stepped closer.

"No, you have so much hate in you, that you project it onto others. Maybe you're the one that will turn to the darkside?" I sneered.

Master Luke approached us and sighed.

"Voe, you need to go home. You're going to need your rest for your run tomorrow." He said.

"What run?" She asked incredulously.

"The 5 laps around the village you're going to do tomorrow morning before our sparring session." 

"What!? That is so unfair!" She yelled.

"Just as unfair as you are being to Ayala?" He asked.

Voe huffed and shot me one last dirty look before she stormed off. Ben laughed as she disappeared into the village.

"You guys need to go to bed too. We have a big day tomorrow." He said as he stepped past us.

I looked at Tai, Hennix, and Ben with a guilty smile. 

"Sorry guys, thanks for sticking up for me." I sighed.

"It's alright," Hennix said as he shook his head. "She's always had it out for you since the senate hall."

"Yeah, I guess she can't handle a little healthy competition." Tai chuckled.

◇◇◇

That morning we rose to snow. It had blanketed the village by the time we shuffled from our huts and it kept falling throughout our first sparring lessons. Voe argued with Master Luke about having to run in the snow, but Master Luke assured her she would be fine, and maybe she should have thought about how she spoke to her fellow padawans if she didn't want to run in the snow again. Voe took off in a huff at that. We all sat around and waited and watched as Voe made each pass around our corner of the village, until finally she finished her laps. When she finally completed her punishment, Master Skywalker turned around and rubbed his hands together. 

"Pair up!" He shouted. 

Ben and I paired up and watched as the others paired up with their own friends. Master Luke paired with Lor San Tekka.

"Now, the first thing to do is to remind yourself that violence is the last resort. If you're being attacked, defend yourself. If you can avoid conflict, do so. If you can disarm your opponent, do so. This is what we will learn to do today. We do not instigate violence, we prevent it." He turned to his partner and reached out with the force to pull the unsuspecting San Tekka's lightsaber from his grasp and into his.

"This is the first maneuver you will learn and the most important. This will be the first step in using the force to move objects at will, no matter how big or small. To do this, you will focus on the object you wish to move and realize the connection between you and the item. That connection is the Force. That Force is a rope between you and the item. You will tug on that rope and pull the item to you." He handed San Tekka's saber back to him and took several paces away and turned around to do the maneuver again.

Master Luke flicked his hand up, and the saber flew and ignited in midair before making contact with his palm. He deftly grasped it and spun it around grandiosely and extinguished it. 

"We've practiced levitating with rocks. Now we will begin using the very real tools our path requires of us." He said gravely. 

I could feel the weight of his spirit in his words, and in that moment I realized how serious our duty was as Jedi. We could harness the energy that ruled our universe and bend it to our will and with that skill, we could help keep balance in our reality. I realized then that I wasn't just being asked to be a Jedi that valiantly fights the darkside, but that I was being called to war for life itself. 

My knees buckcled and I stumbled with the epiphany. Ben caught me before I fell with a yelp, and the rest of the class turned to see the commotion. 

"Are you alright?" Ben asked as he panted from the sudden exertion.

"She probably locked her knees and almost passed out." Voe said as she rolled her eyes and turned back around. The rest of the class chuckled and turned back around too. Ben glared after her and looked back down at me.

"Are you alright?" He asked again with anger on the edge of his voice. 

"I'm fine. I just- I guess I locked my knees, like she said." I lied. 

Master Skywalker looked over at us from across the field. 

"Are you okay?" 

"She's fine!" Ben shouted back and looked back down at me for confirmation. I nodded and stood up straight and nodded at Master Luke as well. 

"Well, better get started!" He urged us on.

Ben and I stepped back a few paces as the others did and he tried first to no avail. He tried again and made my saber shake in my hand a little bit, but nothing happened. He stopped when he started getting red in the face from strain, and I took my turn. 

I still felt emboldened from the revelation I just had. I felt calm and focused as I reached out to Ben's saber. I could feel the connection between me and the object. It was like a rope, as Master Luke described it. I held out my hand in that moment and pulled it to me. All at once the class erupted with cheers as they saw I had succeeded on my first try. Everyone came up to me, dumbfounded and asking me for tips and advice. 

"I just did what Master Luke said!" I cried out as I laughed. Ben stood back and smiled his toothy grin from ear to ear. He rolled his eyes and started to pull the others away.

"C'mon guys, you can do it too, just keep at it! You're going to trample her! She's too small for you guys to crowd her like this! Let's get back to it!" He yelled as he cut through the group to get to me. "She's MY partner!" He said as he smiled down at me and grabbed my hand to pull me out. 

Everyone began to step back and I received a few more congratulatory claps on my back before everyone went back to try the maneuver again for themselves. 

"Now, maybe you can teach me how you did that so easily." Ben teased and eyed me as he took a few steps back.

I furrowed my brow as I thought of how I could describe the feelings I had when I pulled his saber from his grasp. 

"I imagined the rope Master Luke told us about." I shrugged, but I paused as I remembered something else. "I realized that we're fighting for our galaxy- for balance, but we must first find peace, to preserve life." I said quietly and looked up at Ben.

He gazed back at me as he slowly began to understand what I had said. His eyes softened and looked down, humbled by the message. I held out his saber and gripped it tight. I could feel his determination even then.

He held out his hand and locked eyes with me. I felt the pull on his saber build until I couldn't keep my hold on it any longer. It flew from my hand and into Ben's. His fingers snapped around it and he flung his arm over his head victoriously. 

I shouted with joy. He grinned and the other padawans cheered for him as well. He looked around proudly and they got back to trying perform the maneuver themselves with more enthusiasm. One by one, our other classmates began to catch on. Master Skywalker smirked and nodded with approval as the last of them finally figured it out. 

"Now, give your partners their sabers back if you haven't already. We will begin to learn the 9 basic strikes. Let's spread out!" 

That was an interesting time of my life. I truly enjoyed martial arts as it seemed we all did. We learned very quickly. The other padawans slowly warmed up to me, which was good because it was terribly cold and we would often have nights where we had to group together for warmth. We managed to fill those dark months with happiness. The whole village got together every night for a hearty dinner and warm drinks. The feast days were our favorite though. The women of the village would go out and hunt a large animal and the men threw it all over a fire in a huge pot. We brought up water for the broth and helped prepare vegetables and herbs for spice. It would roast for hours and we would play games and tell stories, put on plays, and sing songs. So many good memories were made there. 

The feast day that marked the middle of the cold season was the biggest and lasted all day and night. A huge fire was made and burned through out the festival. Snow fell, and a breeze pushed the hair from my place as I stood alone by the fire. I hugged my mantle and robes close to me. 

I felt homesick, and was tired of being cold all the time. I shivered as another gust of wind blew around me. The flames danced and embers flew up into the night sky and I watched them burn out and become ash. I gazed back into the fire and looked into the heart of it. Suddenly, a figure twisted in the flame. A girl. I blinked and was sure my eyes played tricks on me. I looked back into the fire. It was the girl again, but I could make out her features. She was the girl with red hair from my force memory! 

She looked up at me and then pointed a finger at the path that led to the jedi temple in the jungle. The wind picked up again and through the trees I could hear someone call my name.

"Ayalaaaaaaaaa." The voice called. My eyes shot to the source of the voice and saw the girl as she stood on the path. I looked over at the group of padawans huddled around their game and definitely not paying attention to me. I looked back over at the break in the trees and saw the girl become swallowed by the shadows as she turned and went down the path. 

I slowly backed up from the light the fire cast until I too was in the shadows. I slowly made my way to the path and followed the girl.  
When I got far enough into the frozen jungle I ignited my saber for light. I came to the curtain of vines and found it was completely frozen over like the rest of the jungle. I tried to push it to the side but they were a wall of ice, so I sliced through them with my saber. They fell away and I climbed over the steaming pile and into the temple clearing. 

The temple glowed from within like a fire burned somewhere inside. I slowly followed the path up to the temple entrance and stepped inside. 

There on the floor of the temple, the girl laid in a pool of dark liquid as a boy with blue skin stood over her as his ignited saber shook in his hand. He looked up at the altar and stepped over the girl's body. He climbed up on the stone table and reached up for the Jedi's chest. There he placed the black and white crystal into it's chest and it fused itself into the stone. 

"That's where you belong. I've done it, Master." 

I watched in horror as the boy jumped down from the altar and looked back down at the girl. He stepped over her and passed me on his way to exit the temple. A shiver went up my spine as the wind swept away the vision. The girl with the red hair swirled into sight as the dust on the temple floor twirled in the glowing light of the temple walls. 

"We can bring balance to the force, but we must let go of the jedi path." 

Her voice was as light as the wind through my mind. Her gaze pleaded that I understand what she couldn't speak with wide eyes and her hands crossed over her heart. She stepped closer and reached her hand down onto my shoulder, her eyes never leaving mine.

"I was the last Shadow Walker, just as you are a Shadow Walker. We take the path of Light and Darkness. This place is not meant to honor our path. It is not a temple, but a prison."

"What do you mean?" I whispered as dread pooled in my heart.

She looked back down at the stone floor. There a woman in black silk that rippled in the wind laid. A massive male figure, clad in black and silver stood over her with the black and white crystal in his hand. He held up the crystal and it floated through the air and back into the dual Jedi's chest. I swallowed but my mouth was dry. 

"It is where it belongs, my master. It is done." The figure declared in a crackling mechanical voice.

"Is this the future or the past?" I rasped unsure of if I actually wanted to know. The girl's lips pressed together and gave me an apologetic shake of her head. She couldn't tell me.

"You must leave this place before it consumes you like it did me." She said as she grabbed my shoulders gently. 

"I have to warn the others."

"This place is not concerned with them, but you-" she smiled sadly as she touched my cheek. "You are the most important person in the galaxy and it wants to keep you from your path. You must finish your training and leave this place. Don't end up like me, Ayala." 

"What about Ben?" She smiled sadly and stepped back.

"It's almost time." She said as she began to fade in the wind. "You don't know what people are hiding in their hearts. Even those we love the most." She spoke one last time before she finally, completely dissapeared. 

Suddenly, the wind howled through the temple so loudly that I jumped and ran from it with my saber ignited. I tore through the frozen jungle and tumbled out, back out onto the village clearing and backed away from the path in a scramble of a crab walk.

"Whoa! Whoa!" Master Luke shouted as he picked me up. I huffed and looked up at him and back into the darkness of the jungle, as if I expected something to charge through the trees and trample me.

"What have I told you all about expelling in the jungle alone at night. Now look at you. You look like you saw your own grave!" He went on as I shivered from cold and fear and re-wrapped my mantle and robes around my trembling frame.

"S-sorry Master Skywalker. I learned my lesson, that's for sure." I replied as I glanced back to the path nervously and walked back to the fire's edge. Ben's eyes found mine from across the field. His brows drew together with concern and he broke the conversation he was having with another padawan. I looked away and back into the fire and hoped he would leave me alone, but he jogged to my side and put his arm over my shoulder. 

"Hey, are you okay? You look col-" 

I jerked my shoulders away from his grasp and stepped to the side. 

"I'm very warm, thank you." I growled and avoided his shocked gaze. 

"Okay. Good, I guess." He sounded hurt. "Sorry for bothering you." He grumbled and walked away. 

I felt bad for pushing him away, but I also needed space. I was sure the vision I saw was the future, but I couldn't believe Ben would ever hurt me. The figure hid himself and his voice under a mask and black robes, so there was no way to be sure that was actually him. And that woman. That had to have been me if that was indeed a glimpse of the future, but I was dressed in black. Had I turned to the darkside? I shook my head in dismay and sighed. I turned around and bumped into Mother Achto. She gazed down at me with a piercing glare. 

"This night." She gestured and looked up into the night sky. "Is a night of truths, and ghosts. The ancestors can visit us and reveal secrets." She looked back down at me with her knowing smile. "And many truths." 

"Really?" I feigned ignorance. 

"Have you learned any truths tonight... Shadow Walker?" 

I felt my face drain of blood. I backed away until I could side step her and ran back to my hut. I pushed the table infront of the door to barricade myself in and moved my cot to the back of the room so I could watch the door. I huddled there under my robes and blanket with my knees to my chest, unsure of who I could trust.


	10. The Clear Path

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A talk, a dream and a clear path.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Shorter chapter this go round, but I will be posting another chapter near Christmas! A little extra present for you guys! Thanks for sticking with Ayala!

The other padawans and villagers laughed and played music and drums in the distance outside, but the stillness of my room pressed in on my ears. My body trembled from my anxiety and when I could take it no longer, I did something that I hadn't done in a while and reached out.

"Father?" I breathed out as I closed my eyes.

"Ayala." His voice was warm and kind through my mind.

"Is it true? Am I really a Shadow Walker?" 

"You are."

"You knew."

"I did."

"I had to find out for myself."

"Yes." He replied. "Now you must discover what power lies within you. Be aware of what you show the others, for it will be... alarming... to them."

"A few already distrust me."

"Their distrust is the first step to fear. That is not the Jedi way. Hopefully, they will learn to look past their own biases and understand their fear is a weakness." He said sternly. I let his words sink in like a stone in the pit of my stomach as I remembered what the girl said.

"Should I follow the Jedi way?" I asked tentatively, afraid of his answer.

"You are meant to walk in the path that brings balance. You are meant to be the enforcer of both light and dark. You are the embodiment of the balance of the force."

"Why haven't I ever heard of a Shadow Walker before? Wouldn't there be legends about them?"

"The Shadow Walker is a solitary path, destined to walk alone and only awakened when the Force is threatened. There are no legends because of their stealth. They move with the hand of the force, swift and cunning and rarely deployed. A last resort."

"What happened to the last Shadow Walker?"

"She never made it off the planet, unfortunately. It caused a great shift in the Force that lasted for 4 generations. She was part of a group of padawans who were exceptionally strong in the force by a sacred cult of Shadow Walkers and was brought to this temple to be trained. The crystal chose her and another padawan to be her partner and her anchor. He had the duty of keeping her from harm and from the darkside. If she turned, she was to be eliminated."

"That's why she was killed?" I gasped.

"Yes, unfortunately." 

"And what will become of Ben and I? Will he kill me if I turn to the darkside?" 

"If that is what his duty requires, yes." 

"Is that why you asked me about him before?"

"To be sure you trusted him, yes."

"So, that was him." I said quietly.

"I cannot tell you what your visions mean." He said sagely.

"They're for me... of course." 

"All will be revealed as the force will allow. Use this time to learn as much as you can about the force here. You will learn more in your travels to come." 

"What about Ben?" 

"You must let go of him, like you let go of your mother."

"But I promised." I whispered.

"All Jedi must learn detachment." Father replied sympathetically.

"I know, but I thought we could at least stick together."

"It is best to sever your ties. Attachments cloud your judgment and could put you or others in danger." 

His advice was always so right. I knew I had to let Ben go. I just thought I could hold on for a little while longer, but I knew it had to be done. 

I sighed and finally laid back onto my bed. I let go of the vision. There was no way to know what that meant or that it was even true. I let go of Ben and Master Luke and all of the padawans. I let go of my fear and mistrust. I let go of my attachments one by one like butterflies from a flower. I closed my eyes, but the image of Ben by the fire was burned into my mind and his face haunted my dreams that night.

◇◇◇◇◇

"You said you'd never leave me!" Ben's body shivered alone in a dark cave surrounded by shadowy figures as I stood over him.

"I'm sorry." I whispered as I kneeled down at his side and took him in my arms. A sob escaped my mouth at the sight of his broken frame. The shadows closed in, their claws reached out, but I snarled and drew my lightsaber. I held it out, part threat, part sheild to protect my friend. The shadows screeched and they ripped their eyes from their faces. Long black veins gushed and glitter in the light of my saber from their sockets as they pulled them from their skulls and threw them on the cave floor. Some of the shadows scrambled toward us, but I slashed at them with my blade and they toppled to the ground in pieces as they screamed in agony. The others heard the screams of their fallen ranks and fled from the sound.

"You said-"

"I'm here now, Ben. Please, forgive me." I sobbed. 

"Where were you?" He rasped.

"I had a lot to do, but I'm here. I won't let them hurt you anymore." He coughed and shook his head.

"Y-you don't have to e-explain. You're right, you're here again." His eyes gazed into mine and reached up to touched my cheek with a weak smile. "I'm glad we could be together one... last..." His eyes slowly closed and his head fell back and his final exhale escaped his chapped lips.

◇◇◇◇

I woke to a cold sweat and Ben's voice yelling through the door as he tried to beat it down to get to me.   
I shot up and my vision swam. I groaned and sat back down on to the edge of my cot and pressed my eyes. They felt like they were about to explode from the pressure of the headache I somehow had. 

"Ayala! Please! Wake up! You're just dreaming! I'm okay!" He yelled through the door.

"I'm up!" I moaned and stood again but slowly. I shuffled to the door, I pushed the table out of the way and wretched it open. Snow had piled up on the door and spilled in as Ben tumbled into my room. He scrambled up from the floor and pushed the door shut against the wind. He spun around and strode to me with fear and concern in his eyes. He grabbed my shoulders and peered into my eyes.

"You scared the daylights out of me!" He exclaimed. "What is going on with you? Oh, my- you're soaked! As he pulled away and wiped his hands on his mantle.

"I'm fine, Ben. I just had a nightmare, I guess." I sighed. "And a headache." I moaned and pressed my hands to my eyes.

"You guess?! You were screaming bloody murder! Calling my name!" 

"I'm sorry, okay?! I can't control my dreams!" I raised my voice to match his and sat back onto my cot. 

He went silent and turned around.

"You went to the temple last night, didn't you?" He asked. 

I felt the blood drain from my face.

"How did you know that?" I whispered.

"I was told by... something." He replied. 

"Something?" I echoed with suspicion.

"Don't know. Something told me you went, and it said you saw something there. Something you shouldn't have." He turned back around. "What did you see?" 

"You know I can't tell you that." I sighed.

"What did you see?" He seethed and reached out his hand to me. Suddenly, I felt him try to ram through my mind, but I screamed and felt the force explode from my body like a sheild and threw him into the stone wall. He recovered and looked at me with rage in his eyes. 

"Remember yourself, Ben." I warned.

"How did you do that?" He seethed.

"I could ask you the same." I said and stood slowly.

He glared at me and stepped away from the wall and strode to me. His eyes softened and he took my hand. 

"I'm sorry, I-I'm just worried about you." He looked down at me with regret as his eyes danced back and forth as he searched for the forgiveness he needed. "I know you're going through a lot and I just want to protect you." He said quietly. 

"I know," I replied calmly. "But if you're my friend, you'll trust me. I pulled my hand away and stepped back. "And you will never do that again."

Ben looked down at his empty hand and looked back up defeatedly. 

"I'll never do that again. I promise." He echoed.

I frowned at him and he took a step towards me and tried to pull me in for a hug, but I pulled away. He looked hurt but I stood my ground.

"Why are you doing this?" He asked.

"We're too close, Ben. We can't make good judgments if we're blinded by our attachments." I replied simply.

He dropped his arms, his shoulders slumped slowly, and his gaze dropped to the floor. 

"And now you're leaving me too." 

"I'm right here, Ben. We just have to-"

"No, you're right." He nodded. "I need to sever my attachments." He squared his shoulders and inhaled sharply. "See? It's like you don't even matter to me now." He said as he crossed his arms.

"Ben-"

"Don't. Like I said, you're right. We're too close. We're supposed to be Jedi, not friends." A flicker of cruelty flashed across his face.

"I never said that, and you know it." 

"I know what you said, and now you have your wish. Hope you're warm tonight." He said as he pulled the door open and stomped back out into the snow and out of sight.

I scrambled to the door as flurries of snow blew into my room to shut it behind Ben, but the snow came down so hard and fast that I couldn't push it closed. 

"Ben!" I called out, but the roaring winds crushed the sound of my voice before it could reach him. I pushed and pushed but the snow kept driving in. I retreated deeper into my room and up on the cot and wrapped my shivering frame tightly in my blankets and bed mat. My mind raced with hopeless ideas of how to push the snow out or how to block the door with the table. I shook my head and tried to relax and clear my mind. I looked back up to the huge snow drift with determination. I exhaled and closed my eyes and focused on the force surrounding the snow. I could feel it amassing in the room and I could feel the force in me and felt it ripple around me and I stretched my hand from under the covers and pushed the wall of snow from the room. I stood as the snow retreated and cleared the path in front of my door. I walked outside and shut the door behind me and kept going. Feeling the force move through me at my will and with such ease was exhilarating and I didn't want it to stop. I felt giddy as I plowed through the impacted 4 foot drift like it was nothing but down feathers. A laugh escaped and I kept pushing through the snow as I walked through the village. I kept going until I got to the center of the village and pushed more snow from the fire pit and kept walking the trails and clearing the roads. 

The villagers and padawans began filing out of their huts and watched as I made my way back to the center of the village and finally came to a stop. Master Skywalker rounded the corner and looked at me in wonder.

"You did this?" He asked breathlessly and I nodded. 

San Tekka arrived next to Master Skywalker and stepped back when he saw my handiwork. 

"She's too young to have done this by herself." He huffed as he tried to catch his breath. I squared my jaw and stood as tall as I could.

"Well, I DID do it by myself." I said indignantly. 

"You should be at least passed out from the strain." He replied incredulously and stepped closer to me to look me over. I frowned and looked away to catch Ben's cold eyes in my line of sight as he stood back behind Master Skywalker. I glared at him, but I looked away and tried to calm myself before I spoke. I took a deep breath and chose my words carefully. 

"Ben and I had a disagreement, and he left my room with the door open. I couldn't close it with the snow drifting in. There was too much, so I tried using the force. It worked, obviously, so I kept going." I explained matter-of-factly.

"See? She's getting help from the darkside!" Voe shouted from somewhere behind me. I could see the other padawans look around with unease and concern. 

"She is strong in the force." Master Luke affirmed but even he seemed unconvinced with his own statement.  
I felt my face get hot with embarrassment but I shoved the feeling down and took another deep breath.

"She can't even control herself!" Voe jeered again.

"What do you think I'm doing now?" I slowly turned to face her. "Unlike, you who can't control what comes out of your mouth." The a few padawans laughed nervously. 

Mother Achto shuffled into view and sighed contently. 

"I wondered when you were going to finally clear all that." She said as she looked at me with pride. "A Shadow Walker always clears the path doesn't she?" Master Luke gave her a warning glance and looked back at me. 

"Are you okay, Ayala?" He asked tentatively.

"I'm fine, just a headache."

"She was having nightmares again." Ben said.

"I don't recall asking you, padawan." Master Skywalker replied.

"She was screaming, covered in sweat. She went to the temple again last night. She saw something there. Something dangerous."

"I didn't ask you, Ben!" Master Skywalker shouted. "Ayala! Mother Achto! Talk! Now!" Was all Master Skywalker could say out of his frustration.

Mother Achto shot me a mischievous look and giggled a little and shuffled ahead to follow Master Luke. I shot a glare and shook my head disapprovingly at Ben and his face contorted into a cruel, victorious grin as I followed Master Skywalker and Mother Achto.

◇◇◇◇◇◇

"Now she's a Shadow Walker? I've never heard of that before. What is it?" Master Skywalker huffed.

"A weapon produced by the force to balance itself."

"But I already did that! I defeated the Sith!"

"You really think that you brought down the Sith by yourself? You are more arrogant than I thought." She scoffed. She closed her eyes and sighed. "I still feel the pulse of darkness flow through the galaxy. There is something out there that corrupts the force, even as we speak." She opened her eyes and settled on me with a sad smile. "This is the pearl it has formed to smooth the irritation at last. The real question now is: will she accept the task ahead of her?" 

Master Luke and San Tekka followed her gaze to me and Master Luke scoffed. 

"I didn't bring balance to the Force but she will?" He chuckled. 

"Forget what the fractured Jedi have told you about the Force and their prophecies. They only know what they have been taught. Look at what the Force has placed before you with your own eyes. You have witnessed a culmination of circumstances weave seamlessly into this young lady. If this is not the will of the Force what is it?"

"A trap." San Tekka said finally. "She could be a spy for the darkside. Maybe not with her knowing, but she could be a window through which the Darkside uses to see the progress we have made?" Mother Achto slowly looked over to him and glared. "I'm just looking at all the possibilities here." He shrugged.

"He's right," I said. "I have seen things that tell me I could be easily corrupted." I sighed.

"Well, do you feel corrupted?" She asked simply.

I looked down an took inventory of myself.

"No." I replied.

"Then you are not!" She clapped her hands and made Master Luke and San Tekka jump a little. "How many times will I have to tell you? You know less of the Force than you'd like to admit. You may have brought balance to the it for now, but there is a something out there. More terrifying than you could imagine, and it is waiting in the shadows for it's time to strike at the light and swallow it whole. And if this child does not stop it... nothing will. You must clear the path."

◇◇◇◇


	11. A Last Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A storm, a star ship, and a trip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is short but ends with a bang! Chapter 12 will be up in January, and will be the final chapter of this episode. I will be doing some development on the next throughout February and should start posting episode II in March! Thanks to those who have been keeping up with the story! Your hits have been greatly appreciated! Happy New Year and be safe out there!

Lor San Tekka and Master Skywalker eyed me and looked at each other.  
Master Skywalker frowned and looked down at Mother Achto.

"Go to your hut, Ayala. I think I need to speak with Mother Achto for a while." He said grumpily surely tired of their "talks" at this point. 

I turned and walked out into the snow. San Tekka shut the door behind me with a scowl. I looked down at the newly forming drift and kicked it into powder. I sighed and looked around for Ben, then remembered how he sneered at me. That stone of anxiety in my stomach became heavy at the thought that he hated me. I didn't expect him to react so badly to a requirement of our role as future Jedi. 

I started back to my hut through the snow. About halfway there, I ran into Hennix. He gave me a good-natured wave when he saw me, and jogged towards me.

"Hey!" He exclaimed. "What's going on with Ben? He seems out of sorts."

I sighed and crossed my arms.

"I don't know. I-I think I hurt his feelings. I kind of told him that I was severing my ties to focus on our training." I replied and looked up at him guiltily.

"Oh, no! You guys have been joined at the hip this whole time. No wonder." He pulled his hood up over his head as a gust of cold breeze cut through the village. "But you're right, it's part of our training. I'm sorry he's giving you a hard time. He'll come around." He said and shook my shoulder. 

"Thanks." I smiled halfheartedly.

"Hey, if you want to, me and Tai are about to spar at the temple. Not the one in the jungle, that place gives me the creeps." He said as he shuddered.

"Yeah, me too." I agreed as I thought of the night I had before.

"So, whatta ya say? Wanna come hang out with us, maybe teach us your ways?" He said playfully. I smiled and shrugged.

"I don't know..." I replied and looked around for Ben again, but no sign of him. 

"Come on!" He said as he nudged elbow. "A little sparring will make you feel better!" 

"Alright! Alright!" I giggled and he took my hand and led me through the village.

◇◇◇◇

"Oh, h-hi there!" Tai said as I rounded the corner of the temple wall with Hennix. 

"Hey!" Hennix replied and looked back at me and to Tai again apologetically. "I thought Ayala would like to join us. Ya know, maybe she could help us?" 

Tai nodded and smiled with understanding.

"Yeah, cool." He replied. He tilted up his chin and gave me a playful smirk. "You think you can keep up, kid?" 

"Oh, yeah!" I replied with a grin.

"Well, let's see what you got. You got your saber?" 

"Duh!" I replied and rolled my eyes.

"Alright, then take it out." He challenged. I paused as I realized what he asked.

"I don't think we should fight with real sabers by ourselves." I said and shook my head apprehensively.

"Come on, we fight out here all the time! We're careful! Or are you more of a baby than you already look?" He taunted. 

I bit my lip and weighed the risk. I always had luck with our wooden sabers, and I didn't want to seem like I wasn't as confident in my abilities as they were. Finally, against my better judgment, I nodded and pulled the saber from my robes.

"Okay, but we have to be careful!" I warned. Tai smiled approvingly and took his out, followed by Hennix. We all exchanged uneasy glances and ignited our sabers at the same time.   
We flourished our sabers with the maneuvers I recognized from our training with our practice sabers and stood back into our defensive stances. I could feel they wanted me to begin the skirmish and I paused. 

I burst into action and tumbled between them. I landed on my feet as I struck from below at Hennix who stood on my right. He blocked me and bared down with his whole body behind his saber. I kicked his feet out from beneath him and flipped him over me with the force and his own momentum. He grunted as the air was driven from his lungs as he hit the ground. 

I recovered into a crouch and Tai attacked from above. I moved to dodge his strike and tumbled away from him quickly. I felt the heat from his saber flash by my face as I recovered and pushed him back with the force. He fell back and skidded over the snow with a yell.

Hennix scrambled to stand and went to Tai's side to help him up and they both turned to me to charge together. I swerved to the left and pushed them with the force again. They fell forward onto their faces into the snow. They stood with irritated groans and turned around to face me again covered in the stuff. I laughed at the sight and they charged again with the best battlecry they could muster. 

"Stop!" I yelled and pointed at them. The feeling I had when we first met Miss Jgega in the village and she told Ben there was something weird about me was back. A shiver up my spine. Hennix and Tai both stopped and their faces went blank. 

"Drop your sabers." Their hands went limp and their sabers dropped with hisses as the blades went out and the hot metal met the snow. 

"Turn around and go back the the village. I'm done playing your game."

"Two on one seems unfair, doesn't it?" Master Luke's voice drifted on the wind. I spun around to see him sitting on the corner of the temple roof. He stood, jumped, and landed on the snow just feet away from us. "Especially, when they're up against you, I guess." He chuckled.

"Master Luke!" I breathed.

Hennix and Tai groaned and plopped down to the snow in defeat as I lost focus on them. 

"You weren't using the force just now. I mean, you were earlier, but this time you weren't. It was something... different."

"You mean weird." I said quietly. 

"You're not weird." He countered. "It's a trait you get from your mother. She's part Diathim, right? They have the ability to hypnotize. Looks like you inherited it from her." He said simply. 

"Oh, great. Something else to make the other padawans hate me." 

"They don't hate you." Master Luke said as he knelt down to look me in the eyes. "They just don't understand your abilities. I bet they will come to realize what a great asset you are in the defense of the galaxy and be thankful you are on their side." 

Master Luke shot a reproachful look at Hennix and Tai. 

"Won't they?" They gulped and nodded in unison. 

"They'll also get back to the village and help with the preparation of tonight's dinner, won't they?" They nodded again and took off to the village. 

"Come on, how about some real sparring?" Master Luke said with a mischievous smile.

◇◇◇◇◇

The rest of the winter passed uneventfully, and all of my fellow padawans learned to master their fear of me, or so it seemed at the time. They included me in their games and invited me to their huts to study. 

Ben, unfortunately, never came around and choose to be closer to his uncle than to me. He seemed to grow stronger every day and his eyes a little more distant as he looked at me. Eventually, it seemed like I didn't exist to him. I never stopped thinking of him as my friend. I wanted that for us, but Ben felt I had betrayed him somehow. I was indifferent, I convinced myself, and kept busy with training and my studies, since I no longer had any distraction.

Eventually, Ben and I were strangers. We ignored each other when we'd meet at our doors, he'd cross the road if I was walking towards him, or if I was on the same side as him. We paired up with different padawans when we sparred. I wasn't lonely, but I felt a pang of regret whenever we'd accidentally glance at each other. I was happy to focus on my studies, but the loss of Ben's friendship brought a certain melancholy that made me feel empty.

Spring came, or at least that was what we called it. It became sweltering hot again and the dormant plants began to flourish again, like the winter never happened. The first harvests of the summer had come and gone and we expected more yields for a while.

The sunsets were different during spring time. The sun set behind the red planet and cast a beautiful red and gold light over the land in a partial eclipse for a few months; but the last two months as summer finally came into full swing, the sky was clear at last.

One day, I had decided to walk to the beach to get some alone time away from the others. It was a beautiful day only, because a storm loomed on the horizon and brought a cold front with it. 

It was the day of my 10th cycle, and was notably different without Ben. Father tried to assure me that I was on the right path and I felt I truly was. Still, Ben's silence bothered me. 

The wind blew in a light mist from the crested waves and chilled the air enough to make the sunny beach pleasantly cool. I had picked a spot where a large log had drifted to shore and had sat on it to watch the waves and storm front move in. I had sat there for a good while when a voice drifted over the sound of the crashing waves.

"Hey, A." 

It was Ben's voice, but I didn't turn around. I thought at first it was my imagination.

"Ayala?" I heard again.

Finally, I turned around and saw Ben. He walked toward me slowly with a bag and a canteen. His eyes locked onto mine as he shuffled through the sand, his lips pressed together in a crooked smile but his eyes were wide with an unspoken request to join me.

"H-Hello," I said tentatively. "What, uh- How are you?" 

"I'm okay, I guess." He shrugged and sat down the bag and canteen on the log and waved his hand over the luggage. "Wanna eat? Miss Jgega packed me and you a lunch. She said something about a birthday too? Like, happy birthday, maybe? Don't know for sure, but it was something along those lines." He rambled nervously as he tried to make a joke.

"You remembered." I said quietly.

"How could I forget about you?" He said and took my hand. His eyes softened and he took me into an embrace. I hugged him back as I held back tears and nuzzled into his chest. 

He broke the hug with a nervous smile and I laughed as a tear fell without my permission. We both sniffed back tears and wiped our faces with the sleeves of our tunics before Ben began pulling out each food item with an exaggerated flourish. 

"A fine meal for the princess of Bespin on this, her 10th cycle." He said dramatically as he filled a wooden cup with water and passed it to me. 

"Served by the prince of Alderran, no less." I said with mock haughtiness to match Ben's. 

We took a sip of our waters and exchanged awkward glances.

"It seems you're getting stronger." We both said at the same time. Ben's face flushed and I looked down into my lap. Ben grabbed my hand I looked up into his eyes. 

"Ayala, I-"

"No, please. I am the one that should apologize. I was too cold with you. I should have been-"

"You were right though! I just didn't want to admit it. You had every-"

"You know I'll always be there for you."

"I know." He said at last, but looked away. 

"Listen, there's uh- something I came to tell you too. A couple of things, actually."

"Of course! You can tell me anything." I assured him and he smiled thankfully down at me. He looked as if he suddenly remembered something and dropped my hand.

"Oh! Sorry, I meant to give you this first." Ben pulled a small bag from his tunic and held it out to me. I grabbed it gently and opened it up. I couldn't make out what the tiny item was in the bag, so I pulled it out carefully. It was his toy star ship he first showed me his force powers with. The memory managed to make me misty eyed. I shook my head and put it back into the bag, and tried to push it back into his hand.

"You should keep this. I can't- I can't take this."

"Concider it a going away present." He said sadly. 

I looked up questioningly into his eyes.

"I'm... I'm going on a trip. With Master Skywalker and San Tekka. I-It's just something to remember me by. That and I couldn't leave without trying to make things right between us. It felt wrong." 

He adjusted himself on the log and looked over the water to the storm that continued to roll in. 

"There's some planet that Master Luke wants to check for old Jedi relics with San Tekka on, and I got invited to tag along. I figured it would be a fun learning experience for me." 

"It'll be good for you to get some time off world." I agreed. "You have your father's restless heart." I chuckled. 

"Yeah," he sighed. 

"Are you excited?" I asked.

"Sure, a bit of adventure might be nice."

"What? Not enough here on our little moon?" That made Ben smile and he looked back down to me. 

"It got boring without you to get me into trouble." He teased.

"What! You're the one that got ME into trouble most of the time!" I laughed and pushed his shoulder playfully.

"MOST of the time." He countered.

We laughed and Ben sighed. 

It was a weight lifted to reconcile with Ben. To be honest, I felt like a terrible person to have pushed him away like I did. He deserved better.

"Anyway, I won't be gone long. It's supposed to be a real quick smash and grab and then we're back." 

"I'll give this back to you when you return then." I replied.

"No, please keep it. As a reminder. I'll always be your friend." He reached down and squeezed my hand. He pulled it up to his lips, and pressed them to my knuckles. He stood and let go of my hand keeping his eyes on the darkening horizon. I followed his gaze as thunder rolled through the clouds in the distance.

"I love you, Ayala." He said quietly and walked away. 

His words didn't seem to process at first, but the realization of his confession hit me and I stood, dropping my cup into the sand. I turned around with shock that spread through my body and made my hands shake. I watched dumbfounded as he walked up the hill without a glance back. 

Finally, I looked back at the horizon and stared out to it for a long time. His words echoed in my mind over and over again. 

"I love you, Ayala."


	12. The Oncoming Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter of Ayala and Ben's childhood. A padawan goes missing and Ben leaves Ayala for the first time.

I gathered the picnic supplies and shoved them in the bag Ben brought. I ran up the hill after him as the downpour started over the water and advanced the shore. 

"Ben! Wait!" I cried as the rain caught up to me. 

He spun around and his eyes took in the approaching wall of rain. It broke over him and he sprinted across the field as he reached out his hand and I grabbed it. He pulled me up the hill onto the grass and took my hand as we sprinted to the temple. It was yards away from the shore but the closest place to take shelter from the rain in.

Finally, we made it inside and shoved the door closed against the wind. We shuffled across the stone floor and I sat the picnic bag on a table with a huff. 

"You okay?" He gasped as he braced himself on the table.

I nodded and tried to catch my breath. We looked at each other for a moment and split into hysterical laughter. Our hair was plastered to our heads and water dripped from our faces. Ben's ears stuck out from his hair and that made me laugh harder. He looked at me with confusion and I reached up mid-laugh to touch his ears and he stepped back with mock indignation.

"Are you making fun of my ears?!" He exclaimed.

I laughed on the verge of tears and nodded.

"I am offended!" He grabbed my hands and put them back on his cold ears. Suddenly, his smile fell and he looked down at me with a dark expression.

"Since you find them so funny, you'll have to cover them up."

The way he said it made me stop laughing. His eyes softened and flicked back and forth between my eyes and lips. I tried not to do the same, but he was so close and his eyes were so intense. I had never seen that side of him before. I gulped and pulled away from him. 

"Don't look at me like that." I said nervously as my heart raced and I turned away. Heat rushed up to my ears and cheeks. 

"I'm sorry, I-I'm uh- I just-" He stammered and growled in frustration. 

He paced and ran his hands through his hair to fluff it up and hide his ears again. I watched him as he shoved his wet tunic off and slammed it onto a nearby chair. 

"Ben!" I gasped surprised by his anger.

He stopped in his tracks and looked at me with sad eyes, his lips pressed together in a severe frown. He backed up against the wall and slid down to sit on the floor, his hands slid through his hair and he hid his face between his knees. 

I paused for a moment and watched him as he breathed heavily. I pulled my own soaked tunic off and laid it carefully on a different chair to dry. I then went to his and began to un-rumple it and spread it out over the back of its chair. I looked over to Ben and he gazed back at me with an unreadable look. How long had he been watching me? I wondered.

"Not long enough." He sighed, tipped his head back onto the wall, and dropped his eyes to the stone floor. 

That pit of my stomach that held my anxiety twisted as he looked away from me, but I couldn't look away from him. His sadness radiated from him, and all I wanted to do was make it go away. 

Slowly, I walked to the wall. His eyes drifted up to me, filled with bitter expectation of what I would do next.   
I moved to back up to the wall and slid down next to him. I gulped down the uncertainty that pooled into my throat and let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding.

"How long have you known?" I asked quietly. 

"This whole time." He said sternly. "Since I first saw you. Especially when you beat me at our first lightsaber fight." He said with a laugh. "And when you came out wearing that dress from Bespin and called yourself their princess. I could really see you as a princess." He chuckled. His face fell again and looked over at me. 

"You looked so happy, but then you saw me too. You looked like you saw a ghost." He laughed nervously. "Then you said I was handsome." He scoffed. 

"You were. You are." I replied sincerely.

"And you're beautiful." He countered with a soft smile. 

It was my turn to scoff. He looked at me sideways with a crooked smirk.

"You think you're not beautiful, but you are." His eyes again gazed at my lips and looked back up into my eyes as his smile faded. 

"Ben, please. Don't do that." I whispered. 

"Do what?" 

Again, my eyes lingered on his lips for too long, and we were so close, and his eyes were so intense that before I realized what I was doing, mine felt the magnetic force pull me to lock on his. He didn't duck or pull away, but instead wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer.

Suddenly, the temple door flew open.  
Ben and I tore away from each other at the sound. 

Voe stood in the doorway with a look of cruel victory on her her face. Ben and I stood in unison and he unhooked his saber and ignited it. Voe did the same, the rain sizzled as it fell on her blade. She stepped into the temple and began her charge from across the room as Ben stood his ground. The chill came again. 

"NO!" I yelled and Voe stopped in her tracks.

"Put the saber away." I growled. 

Voe's eyes went blank. She slowly disengaged her blade and hooked it back onto her belt. 

"You saw nothing. You walked in and saw NOTHING." I said forcefully. 

Her blank eyes only blinked in reply.

"Now, leave!" I ordered.

Voe slowly turned around and dissapeared into the rain. Ben disengaged his blade and hooked it back onto his belt.

"I've seen that before." Ben said, suspicion darkened his voice. "How did you do that?"

Ben turned to me with a look of wonder when I expected fear or distrust. 

"It's a trait I inherited from my mother. Like a defensive instinct, I guess." I shrugged.

"That's my girl. Always full of surprises." He said and grinned down at me tenderly. It made my stomach flip-flop with dread.

"I'm not your girl. I can't be. We can't-" I stammered at his term of endearment.

"I know," he said with sad eyes and took my hands in his. "But you'll always be my girl. From now on, even if we could never be together, I'll always love you, and... y-you can be my friend." 

I swallowed down the anxiety that tightened my throat as Ben gazed down at me with sincerity. 

"No one has to know." He smiled and I nodded in agreement.

"We can't be together-" I reiterated and slowly shook my head.

"I know." Ben whispered and kissed my hand regretfully.

"But... I love you too, and we'll always be friends, no matter what." 

"You do? You really love me?" He asked tentatively.

"This whole time." I echoed his own words back to him and he broke into a smile, like clouds parting from the sun and he pushed his lips onto my knuckles again.

"We have to head back to the village. I'm sure Voe wasn't just out for a stroll. They're probably looking for us." I said as I pulled my hands away from his grasp and gathered my tunic to wrap it around myself again.

"Right," Ben sighed and threw his tunic on. 

He grabbed the picnic supplies and we headed into the rain, back to the village.

◇◇◇◇

Master Luke rolled his eyes when he saw our rain soaked figures come up the hill and onto the village clearing.

"Well, I'm glad you two worked it out." He said with a groan. "I sent out some padawans to look for you... again. Hopefully, they don't waste too much time on the search." He grumbled and headed back into the village without looking back.

We exchanged uneasy glances, amazed that we didn't get in trouble, and followed suit. We made it back to our hut and stopped at our doors. Ben looked at me with an apologetic smile. I gave him mine as I reached for my door and he reached for his. We lingered in the doorway and nodded at one another before we finally entered our respective rooms. I shut my door and sighed.

"I leave with Master Luke tomorrow." Ben's voice said faintly through the wall.

"Really?" I replied quietly.

"Yeah, I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I'm just glad we're..."

"Friends?" Ben finished my sentence.

"Yeah, friends." I said with a smile. "Best friends." 

◇◇◇◇

Master Skywalker's voice boomed through the metal door.

"Both of you, get out here. NOW!" 

I scrambled up from my cot and wrapped my tunic around my torso faster than I ever had in my time as a padawan. I tore out of my hut and skidded to a halt before Master Luke. 

His eyes flashed with anger down at me that make my stomach twist into knots, then to Ben as he slid to a stop beside me.

"Padawan Voe is missing. She never came back from looking for you two." He growled and he jabbed his finger at us.

"We're going to look for her." He said and wheeled around to storm down the road. 

Ben and I looked at each other, wide-eyed. Ben shrugged and tore off after Master Skywalker. I sighed and ran to catch up.

◇◇◇◇

We looked everywhere for Voe. The rain began again during our search. Our voices called her name into the darkness, only for the sound to be smothered by the torrent.

"Only one place left to check!" Master Luke shouted above the rain.

"The temple in the jungle!" Ben yelled back in answer.

I felt my stomach twist in dread. I feared having to go back to the temple after I had successfully avoided it for so long, and I feared what would happen if we found Voe. Would she remember what she saw? Would Master Skywalker seperate Ben and I? For a moment I thought of getting lost myself. 

We trudged our way through the mud and muck as quickly as we could. Eventually, we made it to the temple clearing. Sure enough, she was there huddled in the corner asleep with her tunic wrapped around her.

"Voe!" Ben and I shouted in unison.

She snapped her head up and her glare found Ben and I.

"You!" she sneered. "Do you know how long I looked for you?" She grumbled as she stood.

I allowed myself to breathe a quiet sigh of relief. I had managed to make her forget what she saw in the new temple after all. 

"As you can see, we'd do the same for you." Ben said with an annoyed sigh.

"Where were you anyway? I looked everywhere!" She eyed us suspiciously.

"We were in the new temple." Ben replied.

"I looked there." She hissed.

"Not hard enough apparently." He sassed back at her.

I shook my head and Master Luke rolled his eyes. 

"Come on, you three. Let's get back to the village before we turn into prunes."

I turned around and followed Master Luke on his heels; all too happy to get out of the temple that was my would-be prison, and back to what little sleep I could get before our morning training circuts.

We trudged back into the village again and Master Skywalker stopped. 

"I've been very lenient with you two. So much so that I'm afraid you think that you can get away with putting your fellow padawans in danger. Ayala, you will give your saber to me, until I see that you are fit to even be a jedi. Ben you will turn over your saber as well. I'm not mad, but you have to learn that there are consequences for your actions."

Voe practically jumped with glee as Master Skywalker admonished us.

"B-but Master!" I protested.

Master Skywalker turned and faced us enraged.

"No! I've had enough of your insolence! You might have power, but it is nothing without discipline. It's time you learned that."

With that, Master Skywalker waved his hand, pulled our sabers to him, and turned on his heel toward his hut. 

Voe laughed cruelly and shook her head. 

"It's about time one of you got punished, and I got a front row seat for a double feature?! Who says you can't have it all?" She said and left for her hut as well.

Tears rolled down my face, hurt by Master Skywalker's sudden harsh words. Ben's arms wrapped around me and helped me back home.

◇◇◇◇

A knock on my door jolted me awake. I sighed in annoyance at being woke up again so abruptly for the second time. It was still dark outside but I opened up. Ben stood there with his bag slung over his shoulder and a half-hearted smile. 

"I guess it's time to go?" I asked.

"Here in a half hour, actually. Thought I'd spend a few minutes with you before I have to leave." He shrugged.

I shuffled back and let him in. He sat his bag down by the door and sighed.

"Sorry I woke you. I just couldn't leave without seeing you." He apologized.

"No, it's fine. I'm glad you did." I replied.

The shift made by his confession was tangible. I felt self-conscious and shy, like every move I made was under scrutiny. It didn't help that his eyes seemed to look into my soul every time I looked up into his.

Ben could feel my tension and smiled as he hemmed his lips nervously. He hesitated before he stepped towards me and wrapped me in his arms. I felt the tension melt away as I settled into his embrace. 

He kissed the top of my head and brought his hand to the back of it to press me closer to his chest and sighed.

"I'm gonna miss you."

"I'll miss you too." I whispered.

I pulled away and held him at arms length to look at him. He smiled broadly and laughed, as the mood lightened. 

"You gonna be all right while I'm gone?" he asked playfully.

"I thought it was supposed to be a quick smash and grab." I replied catilly.

"Well, yeah, but I know you're going miss my presence terribly." He said dramatically.

"Well, I suppose." I said as I rolled my eyes. "This little ship is here to keep me company. I'm sure the conversation with it is far more superior to yours."

"You're sure?" He said teasingly.

"Absolutely!" I replied. "It's completely silent." 

"Hey," Ben's face fell to intensity again. "I'm glad we're friends again." He said with sincerity.

"I am too." I said and smiled warmly.

He smiled back.

"I better head out." 

I nodded and lowered my eyes. 

"I'll be back soon, I promise." 

I nodded again and tears began to blur my vision.

"Hey, don't cry." He said and pulled me back in for another hug.

"You know I'll be back, right?" He affirmed as I sobbed quietly into his tunic.

"I just got you back again and now you're leaving. I know I'm stupid for crying, but I can't help it." I confessed between sniffles.

"You're not stupid." He said firmly and released me from his arms. 

His eyes caught mine and stared into them with his soul searing gaze.

"I really have to go, but I'll be back before you know it." He assured me.

I nodded and quickly swiped my tears away, embarrassed by how emotional I was being.

Ben stepped away to grab his bag and pulled the door open to let himsef out.

"I love you, Ayala." He said and shut the door.

I smiled to myself and looked down to the tiny, blue star ship in my hands.

"May the Force be with you, Ben Solo." I said quietly. I brought the ship to my lips and whispered to it.

"I love you."

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my first fan fiction upload here! I hope you all enjoy! Feel free to leave questions and comments. I also accept constructive criticism, especially about grammar and punctuation. It's been a while since my college English courses, so I might be rusty. Anywho, I'm a big fan of Star Wars. I wanted to keep to canon as much as possible. I'm pretty sure this will be a trilogy, maaaayyybbeee. Big Maybe, lol. Let me know what you think, and happy reading!


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